Go about living your own life
Dr. Wallace: I have an 18year-old cousin who concerns me. I realize this is none of my business, but I feel something must be done. He is a senior in high school and his girlfriend is a junior and they have been dating for over a year. No one can understand why my cousin is dating this girl. She is controlling, cries when she doesn’t get her way, and is extremely immature. No one I know likes her and she has a shady reputation.
My aunt and uncle have done their best to persuade my cousin to stop dating this girl, but nothing seems to work. He just keeps telling them that he “loves her” and does not intend to break up with her.
My own family and I agree that this girl is trouble for him, but we don’t know how to help. Do you have any suggestions? —Nameless, Moline, Ill.
Nameless: Since his parents have had no luck in their efforts to break up this relationship, I doubt that you will be able to do anything about it either.
Forget about your cousin’s situation and go about living your own life.
Dr. Wallace: I’m 16 and I have a 14-year-old sister. We each have our own bedroom. About a month ago our grandfather died and my parents decided that our grandmother should live with us until they can sell her house and find an apartment for her near our house. They think all of this will take about three months. Since we don’t have an extra bedroom, it was
ROBERT WALLACE
decided (against my wishes) that Grandma will use my sister’s bedroom and my sister will move into my room with me.
I am very unhappy about this arrangement. I have nothing against my sister, but we are both teenagers and as you have said many times, teens need some privacy.
I’m upset because my sister would rather stay in her bedroom, sharing it with Grandma, than move all her junk into my bedroom, but my parents think it would be better for Grandma to have her own room.
My parents are aware of your column and there is a chance they will accept your opinion if you agree with me. —Nameless, Michigan City, Ind.
Nameless: It’s true that teens do need time to be alone. Having your own bedroom is ideal, if it is manageable. But since Grandma is going to live with your family for about 90 days and your parents want her to have a bedroom by herself, you should do all you can to cooperate and to make Grandma feel welcome.
The good that will come from this temporary arrangement is that you will probably enjoy your private moments a lot more when your sister returns to her own room.