The single game
Dear Annie: I’m 25 years old, and I got out of a longterm relationship almost a year ago. Being thrust back into the world of singles was a difficult adjustment, and I’m still a little uneasy when it comes to dating. There seem to be a few schools of thought when it comes to dating advice for women. The one that most resonates with me — because I’ve seen it ring true in the past year and because the women (and men) who’ve told me this are intelligent, mature adults — is that if a man wants to see you, he will see you; and if he doesn’t make plans, he’s just not that into you. Doesn’t matter if he’s on a business trip across the country, busy with work or doing anything else. He will make it happen.
According to this logic, it would make sense to not make the first move and initiate conversation with a guy. That way, I’d know how into me he is. I’m a no-drama woman. Shyness is one thing, but I don’t want to have to play games — play hard to get or whatever — after I meet someone to “test” his affections. What advice do you have for millennials in the dating world? Are there any deal breakers when it comes to communication or behavior on dates? — How to Be Single
Dear Single: There’s no single rule, except to follow whatever guidance most resonates with you — and to never call multiple times in a row or send an avalanche of text messages. That said, if you like a guy and you want to ask him out or simply follow up after a date, why not? You’re no doubt thinking about it anyway. If he’s interested, great. If not, you will know and can resume kissing toads in search of your prince.
Dear Annie: I just read the letter from “Frustrated.” Let me get this straight: This wife is upset because her husband spends one afternoon a week going grocery shopping for his mother? What about the six days a week he spends with his wife? Either there is more to the story or she is very self-centered.
She suggested wanting to put her mother-in-law in a nursing home. Nursing homes are for people who absolutely cannot take care of themselves and have serious medical issues that require roundthe-clock care. There are independent and assisted living homes, where she could be around people her own age.
As for this mother-in-law’s not liking to be around her grandchildren and greatgrandchildren, people in their 80s often do not like to be around children because of the noise and energy levels. It does not mean they don’t love their grandchildren or greatgrandchildren. It just means they do not have the tolerance for kids that they did in younger years.
A very good friend of mine — I called him my surrogate dad — used to tell me, “You don’t know what it’s like to be this age until you are this age.” He died at the age of 96, and I have so many beautiful memories of spending time with him and my mom until she died at the age of 95. — Susan
Dear Susan: I appreciate your sharing. Our elders are capable of teaching us so much. If only we’d listen sooner!