Parents shouldn’t force dates on their children
Dr. Wallace: My dad is in a large firm and another man in the firm is his best friend. My parents and this other couple do a lot of things together socially. I’m 18 and not dating anyone at the moment. My dad’s best friend has a son who is 19 and in his first year at Notre Dame University.
Well, wouldn’t you know that my parents want me to go out with him — at least once. I’ve seen this guy several times. He is very nice and not bad looking, but I would never see him as a guy I’d date. My parents think he’s very handsome and highly intelligent and would be a good catch. I don’t see it that way at all.
Last evening he called and asked me to go to a movie and dinner. I told him thanks for the invitation, but I’d have to give him an answer in a week or so.
I’m really upset that my parents would put me in this position. What should I tell this guy? I really don’t want to go out with him. — Nameless, South Bend, Ind.
Nameless: Yesterday my answer was, “Go out with the intention of having an enjoyable evening. Not every date needs to be about possible romance. Some dates are just about “having fun.”
Rarely do I change my response to such a question, but this time I’m going to. My “today” answer is, “Parents should not select dates for their children and teens should never date someone they don’t want to go out with.”
Unless you have had a change of heart since contacting me, I’m sure you like my number two response better than number one.
Dr. Wallace: Laura and I have been dating for over a year and have set a wedding date in July. We met at a lecture on world religions
ROBERT WALLACE
and for both of us it was love at first sight. A month after we started dating, we knew we’d get married. The time we have spent together has been the greatest imaginable. We’re both 20, but we will be 21 when we become husband and wife.
Wedding plans are going smoothly except for one small glitch. When I was 16, I was going out with Cindy and when we started to get serious we decided to break up because we were of different religions. Even though we stopped dating, we were still best friends and continued to talk to each other two or three times a week for a year. Cindy is a good person and a good friend, but we only talk about once a month now.
Let me set the record straight: I like Cindy as a good friend, but I love Laura with all of my heart. Laura knows this and she also knows that Cindy and I are friends and that’s all. The glitch is that I wanted to invite Cindy to our wedding, but Laura is adamant that she doesn’t want any of my ex-girlfriends to be there.
Needless to say, one of us will be a bit disappointed on our happy day. Who should it be? — Ken, Kansas City, Kans.
Ken: I asked my wife to answer your question and her advice to you is: The key word in your letter is “adamant,” meaning that Laura feels very strongly about this. It would be very unwise to upset a bride on her wedding day!
(It also would be very unwise for me to disagree with my wife after I asked for her advice.)