Extreme pressure can lead to cheating

Dr. Wallace: A lot of students at our high school cheat. I mean a lot, including honor students. I understand that it’s important to get good grades to impress parents and college entrance officials, but cheating only hurts the cheater. Still, I’m amazed at the number of cheaters at school. I guess they learned to cheat watching their suburban parents cheat on tax returns. — Nameless, Erie, Pa.

Nameless: Every year, “Who’s Who Among American High School Students” polls honor students across America on various issues — including cheating — to keep tabs on school trends. Of the 3,100 students surveyed, a whopping 83 percent said cheating is common in their schools (87 percent of the public school students said it was, along with 68 percent of the private school students). Fully 80 percent admitted that they have cheated themselves.

One of the prime reasons for cheating is the lax enforcement of rules by teachers. Ninetyfive percent of school cheaters are never caught. Most teens have never had a discussion with their parents on why they shouldn’t cheat. Indeed, most parents are unaware their own child might be cheating. In a survey of parents by “Who’s Who,” 74 percent said they didn’t think their child would cheat — a figure belied by the students’ survey.

This attitude of denial, on the part of both parents and teachers, gives students the license to continue cheating — hurting themselves and making a mockery of the education process. Cheaters are actually cheating themselves. Parental pressure to get good grades is the major reason students cheat!

ROBERT WALLACE

Dr. Wallace: I got brave and invited a guy to a spring bash sponsored by our church. He said he would call me soon with his answer. A week went by and he hadn’t called, so I assumed he wasn’t interested and invited another guy, who immediately said yes.

A day later, the first guy called, saying he had decided to go with me to the bash. When I told him I’d assumed he wasn’t interested and invited another guy, he said it was wrong for me to assume, then hung up on me.

I never called him for an answer because he’d said he would call me soon. To me, that meant he would call in a day or two, not a week. Besides, if I had called him again, it would have appeared I was desperate for a date, which wasn’t the case at all.

Did I make a glaring social mistake by inviting a second guy before I had an answer from the first? When I invited guy number one, the bash was going to take place in 15 days. When I invited guy number two, the bash was only eight days away. — Melody, Provo, Utah.

Melody: You did nothing socially wrong. Boy number one was inconsiderate in waiting a week before calling you and even ruder in hanging up on you. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll call and offer you an apology. Sadly, I think we can “assume” that won’t happen!