Habitual liar is not worth the continued effort
Dr. Wallace: I’m 20 and engaged to a guy three years older. We had planned to get married in the fall. I love this guy, but lately I’ve discovered that he’s a habitual liar. About a month ago, Randy told his aunt that my father was a brain surgeon. In fact, he’s a mail carrier who loves his job. Randy also told me that he has $10,000 in a bank, but when I press him to show me the bankbook, he refuses.
Last night he told me that he put $10,000 down on a new house for us to live in after we are married because houses in Phoenix are very cheap. The problem is that I can’t confirm it because he refuses to tell me where the house is located. When I asked him where he got the money, he said it was an early wedding gift from his grandparents. I asked why he just didn’t use his $10,000 he had in the bank and he said he had loaned it to a friend. I called his grandmother and inquired about the “gift” and she said she didn’t give him any money. She added that Randy was a good boy, but has always had a vivid imagination.
Now I’m really confused. While I love him, I’m terribly bothered by his lies. Should I get married to him and then work on his problem or should I suggest that he fix his problem before we tie the knot? — Jan, Mesa, Ariz.
Jan: Randy has a serious self-image problem and lies so people will be impressed by his tall tales. It would be very unwise to marry this guy. No marriage will succeed when one spouse refuses to be honest with the other.
Your fiance needs professional help. Suggest that he gets it, as you tell him goodbye forever. The sooner (like tomorrow?) you end this relationship, the better!
Dr. Wallace: A couple of months ago, I stole
ROBERT WALLACE
a $5 item from a drugstore. I’ve been feeling very guilty so I’ve decided to rectify things. I’m very sorry for my behavior and have enclosed a $5 bill with this letter. Please give it to one of your favorite charities. Now that I’ve cleared my conscience, I hope that I can go back to being a normal teenager — and an honest one! — Nameless, Gary, Ind.
Nameless: The drugstore is still out the $5 in merchandise that you lifted. If you had included a return address with your letter, I would have returned your money. Since you didn’t, I gave it to the Salvation Army. However, you still must put $5 in an envelope along with a note of apology and mail it to the store. Then your conscience can be totally clear.
Dr. Wallace: I’m a 15-year-old girl and I earn about $25 a week babysitting for my neighbor’s 10-year-old daughter. I really like the job and the money is great, but my problem is that I never get to spend any of it. My parents make me put every penny in the bank. It’s nice to earn interest on the money, but I never have any money to spend on myself. I don’t get an allowance.
I think my parents are wrong. What do you think? — Nameless, Birmingham, Ala.
Nameless: It’s important that teens learn the value of money and are encouraged to save for a rainy day, but saving every penny you earn is, in my opinion, unreasonable. A much happier balance is to put 50 percent of your earnings in the bank and keep the other 50 percent to spend as you wish. Learning the value of money means learning to budget and spend wisely.