A levity license
Now here’s an idea for conscientious Californians. It makes so much practical sense.
Think about all the inappropriate humor going on right now, and nothing is being done to legally limit it.
People laugh at jokes about ethnicity, countries of origin, racial stereotypes, women (especially blondes), physical handicaps, sexual orientation, human stupidity, undocumented immigrants, perverted politicians, foreign accents, religions, timid college students, global warming and even at folks who are just plain nuts through no fault of their own.
It’s time our state government put an end to these impetuous reactions, which involve serious subject matters.
The best solution is to require all state residents to obtain a levity license for everyone 12 years of age and older.
At $50 per year, This would not only raise additional funds to help support a public pension system that will soon rival the national debt, but also put our governmental leaders in charge of what is funny and what isn’t.
Hollywood has already taken the lead in this quest, as demonstrated by modern movies and sitcoms. Previously mentioned topics are rarely put up for laughs and of course, rightly so. After all, what’s so funny about a student who requires a therapy dog because of exposure to contrarian ideology, or parodied names for Korean airline pilots, or for that matter, a poor handicapped kid named “Timmy” on the irreverent “South Park?” Absolutely nothing! Most in the movie and TV industry now have set the standard for what is humor and what can be appropriately laughed at. While this is limiting, it does set the bar for a progressive society that strives to eliminate hatred, bullying and offensive speech.
Fortunately, this media-established standard does leave a few openings for some giggles and snickers. Jokes about female anatomy above the waist, unprotected one-night stands, foolish Caucasian males, populist politicians, fundamentalist Christians and bodily waste buffoonery are still acceptable.
Gone are the days when offensive programming, such as “All in the Family,” “Celebrity Roasts,” “The Honeymooners,” and even the classic “Seinfeld” series, with all its uninhibited nothingness, will ever be produced in the same way again.
Under my plan, those who continue to chuckle at what would become illegal themes could be punished in a number of ways.
The first is prison for repeat offenders. Since the governor, the courts and a majority of the voters have sent thousands of hardened criminals back onto the streets, there should be plenty of room for those who insist on laughing at inappropriate subject matter.
But for first-time offenders, or those who generate a few guffaws at forbidden topics, other steps can be taken.
Public ridicule and shame can be an important deterrent to embarrass these tasteless throwbacks. Shunning by friends with higher levels of social consciousness could also be implemented.
If flippant individuals are public figures or employees, pressure can be applied to end their careers. In the case of business owners, virtuous crusaders can create boycotts with supportive help from social and traditional media.
Of course after several offenses, anyone’s license could be revoked for up to one year. Being caught laughing without a license could result in heavy fines, jail time, or both.
I believe all sensible and self-righteous people will have to agree that my plan is the most innovative and productive proposal since California decided to unilaterally take on world climate change.
If you are one of the enlightened ones who agree that loathsome laughs should be illegal, please contact your local representative and simply say with all sincerity:
“I support the California levity license law.”