Educational success raises family reputation
DR. WALLACE: Why are Asian students more intelligent than the rest of us? At our high school about 5 percent of the student body is Asian, but almost all of them are on the honor roll and this year’s valedictorian and salutatorian both are Asian. My dad thinks their intelligence is tied to their diets. — Amy, Tacoma, Wash.
AMY: Asian students are not more intelligent than other students, nor are their high grades the result of what they eat. It’s simply that many Asian-American parents place a heavy emphasis on education.
Schoolwork in some Asian-American families is so important that children never have part-time jobs or even household chores to do, because this could interfere with study time. In some families, teens are not permitted to date or, in extreme cases, talk on the telephone.
Educational success brings respect to families in Asian societies. This cultural attitude is the prime reason that Asian-American students get good grades. The upside of all of this is that, as a group, Asian-American students are very high achievers.
The downside is that guilt can result when students fall short of their parents’ expectations. Asian-American students who do not excel academically may feel like failures when, in reality, they are normal teens.
Looking forward to 20-year party
DR. WALLACE: I would like to respond to the girl from Phoenix, Arizona, who was seeking encouragement to attend a high school reunion.
In high school I was short, too smart and unpopular. My school years were not a happy time, but at the encouragement of a classmate,
ROBERT WALLACE
I went to my five-year high school reunion and found it very enjoyable. I was then a college graduate and the pressures of being in high school had diminished. The 10-year reunion was also great and the 15-year reunion was fabulous. I’m anxiously looking forward to the 20-year party.
When I look at it now, it appears that the less popular kids are the ones who are now excelling in life. I didn’t have a heyday in high school, but my heyday is now, and how sweet it is! I recommend reunions. It’s wonderful to talk with and enjoy the company of former classmates. — Graduate, Salt Lake City, Utah.
GRADUATE: I, too, enjoy reunions and highly recommend them — if for no other reason than to allow me to wonder why all the others there have aged, but I haven’t!
Time to hang up
DR. WALLACE: I’m a 14-year-old girl and I’ve got a lot of friends, both male and female. Whenever I’m talking on the telephone to one of my female friends I can talk a reasonable length of time — usually about 20 minutes. But if I’m talking to a male friend, after about 10 minutes my dad yells, “Time to hang up!” What can I do to get my dad to let me talk with the guys as long as I can talk with the girls? — Gina, Ames, Iowa.
GINA: Consider yourself very fortunate that your parents allow you ample use of the telephone. An easy way to even the male-female time limit would be to limit all calls to 10 minutes. I’d advise you not to complain too much.