Married to Jesus: Women make lifelong virginity pledge
DETROIT — It was any bride’s dream wedding — a packed church, a beautiful white dress and a palpable feeling of excitement and love.
But what made this recent Saturday’s ceremony at the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament really special was the groom: Jesus. Three women from metro Detroit were the first to become consecrated virgins in the Archdiocese of Detroit. The littleknown vocation involves a commitment to lifelong chastity.
Laurie Malashanko of Plymouth, Karen Ervin of Northville and Theresa Jordan of Dearborn Heights, Mich., are now, in the words of Catholic canon law, “mystically betrothed to Christ.”
Unlike nuns, they are not part of a religious order. They will continue to work regular jobs and financially support themselves, while being steadfastly dedicated to serving the church.
"The focus is on how to be in the world, but not be of it, and (having) this understanding of your role as a bride of Christ, and reflecting your love of Jesus to the world,” said Ervin, 42, the principal of St. Catherine of Siena Academy in Wixom.
The consecration ceremony followed years of prayer and discernment — and involved a bit of a learning curve for the Archdiocese.
There are about 250 consecrated virgins in the U.S. and 4,000 worldwide, said Judith Stegman, president of the United States Association of Consecrated Virgins.
The practice dates to the church’s earliest centuries, when there were no convents.
But by the year 1139, as more women were joining religious orders, bishops stopped consecrating virgins who weren’t part of those orders. The bishops believed that women would be better protected if they lived together in religious communities, Stegman said.
In 1963, the Second Vatican Council decreed that the rite of consecrated virginity should be revised. The revision took place in 1970 to again include women who were “living in the world,” rather than just those in religious communities.
“That’s why it’s so misunderstood,” Stegman said. “For centuries, we only had the other kind of religious life in the church (for women). People aren’t as familiar with it.”
Diocesan bishops oversee and administer the rite. A woman who has never had sex has to ask for permission and assistance to be consecrated.
There is no universal blueprint for bishops or candidates to follow.
The diocese of Lansing has consecrated seven virgins. In Detroit, Malashanko, Ervin and Jordan broke new ground.
“It was a little bit scattered it first, because it was the first time we were practicing this vocation in the Archdiocese of Detroit,” Jordan said. “There was no set procedure or protocol.”
A lifelong promise
Jordan, 40, learned about consecrated virgins through a 2013 article in the Michigan Catholic newspaper.
“I felt like it was an opportunity to take my relationship with Christ one step further,” she said.
The Archdiocese of Detroit tapped Susan Cummins, who was consecrated in 2002 in Lansing and now works for the Archdiocese, to mentor Jordan and the other women.
For the past few years, they’ve been meeting once every six weeks or so to pray and talk about the vocation. They had dinner several times with Auxiliary Bishop Donald Hanchon. Priests served as their spiritual directors.
The women submitted character references, a biography and a statement of intent to Archbishop Allen Vigneron.
“It’s not a vocation you can just 1-2-3 get into,” Jordan said. “It takes a lot of formation, study and prayer.”
Ervin said she first felt called to religious life as a child, but was intimidated by it. She was open to marriage and dated throughout her 20s. She also visited different religious orders. Nothing seemed like the right fit. Then one day, just before she turned 35, Ervin was talking to a professor at Sacred Heart Major Seminary who mentioned consecrated virgins. Ervin had never heard about the vocation.
“I had so much joy flooding my heart the more and more she talked,” she said.
Malashanko, 41, who works for a publishing company, also had a calling. But she didn’t feel like she needed the structure of a religious community.
“There were religious orders I loved, and there were guys I dated who were great, but nothing clicked until I heard about this,” she said.