Insurance companies switch tactics
Have you noticed TV car insurance ads lately? Some have given up the pitch that “We’re the cheapest” — especially when they’re not.
Now they’re using a different set of tactics. It’s all about being safe, secure and protected. Companies just love giving their money away to help customers. The commercial might go something like this:
Agent: “Hello, sir. It’s a great day at Delighted Drivers’ Insurance! How can we help?
Customer: “Well, I was drunk last night and ran over a pregnant lady, along with her two kids in a crosswalk.”
Agent: “Oh, that’s no problem! We’ve seen hundreds of cases like yours. Where do we send the check?”
Customer: “Really? I thought you would at least cancel and ruin me with any other company that might want to insure my car.”
Agent: “Oh no, sir! We love you as a customer and would never do anything like that! As a matter of fact, we won’t even raise your rates. We’re more than happy to help at the Delighted Drivers’ Insurance Co.!” (Fine print flashed on the screen: “Does not apply in California.”)
I don’t know about you, but if I had a problem with my insurance company, it probably would go something like this:
After being on hold for 30 minutes and listening to the same elevator song, coupled with an occasional comment about “Your call is important to us,” I’d finally get a response:
Agent: “Claims — What can I do for you?”
Me: “I hit a raccoon on a highway curve during a rainstorm last night.” Agent: “Were you sober?” Me: “Of course! I don’t drink.”
Agent: “What about street drugs or prescription sedatives?” Me: “No!” Agent: “Anyone hurt?” Me: “Just the raccoon.” Agent: “Any damages to your car?”
Me: “Yes, the front bumper was dented and a fog light broken.” Agent: “Any witnesses?” Me: “Yes, my wife.” Agent: “Oh, she doesn’t count. Wives always lie for their husbands. Are you sure you didn’t hit a pole or something?” Me: “Yes, I’m sure!” Agent: “You’re probably lying and it’s all your fault, but we’ll send someone out to investigate your claim. Do you have a damage estimate?”
Me: “Yes, it’s a Lexus, and the estimate is $2,012.”
Agent: “Since you have a $2,000 deductable, we’ll send you a check for $12. You should receive it within six months. Expect your rates to jump substantially for the next several years. Have a nice day!”
Well, that’s just about how it would go with my insurance company. I Wonder if switching to that Delighted Driver outfit would make any difference? Would I get a pretty girl with a sweet voice telling me not to worry, and that I will be “delightfully” happy with the outcome of their services?
I guess I shouldn’t be so cynical. After all, TV commercials and commentators don’t lie and mislead, do they? Maybe I should think outside the box, try to be a true believer, give that girl a call and…and…Nah!