Her past is history; the present is what counts
Dr. Wallace: I’ve never written to a columnist before, so I’m even surprising myself. I’m responding to the girl who wanted to know if she should tell her new boyfriend about her past life of sex, alcohol and drugs. I’m glad you told her not to!
I’m the mother of a young man that has a similar history. He went through treatment for over a year in a longterm facility. Ever since he came home, he has been fantastic and no mother could be prouder of her son than I am. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of telling his “friends” about his past and they immediately formed an opinion of him that was incorrect. — Mom, Cleveland, Ohio.
Mom: People will judge this young lady on her present actions. That’s all that counts. As long as her life is on track, her past can be considered ancient history!
Dr. Wallace: I’m 19 and currently attending a local community college. I am a music education major and plan to be a high school band teacher or marching band instructor. I have always wanted to be involved with music. Lately, some high schools, because they lack the funds, are cutting back in the area of music.
Now my mom is totally convinced that once I graduate from college with a music teaching degree there will not be openings for band teachers. Because she thinks this way, she wants me to change my major to pre-law. My problem with that is that I have no interest in law. Music is my life and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it. Can you please give me some advice? — Sally, Orange, Calif.
ROBERT WALLACE
Sally: Whenever school districts plead poverty they discuss the possibility of cutting the athletic teams and music programs, but these programs are rarely eliminated. Continue to pursue a career as a high school band instructor, but make sure you are qualified to also teach another subject (math and science are always excellent alternatives) just in case.
Remember there is only a maximum of one band instructor per high school. This limits the hiring to the very best candidates. Somehow I think that will include you.
Dr. Wallace: My parents are divorced and I live with my mother, but I’d really like to live with my father. My mother doesn’t want me to go, but I know I’d be a lot happier living with my father. Is there any law that says I can’t live with him? I am a 15-year-old girl. — Nameless, Del Rio, Tex.
Nameless: When a husband and wife divorce, the court decides whom the children will live with. In most cases, the mother gets custody, but sometimes it’s the father; occasionally, there is joint custody, which means the children live with each parent part of the time.
It appears that your mother has custody of you. If that’s the case, you can live with your father only if your mother permits the move and your father agrees to it.