You should focus on your graduation first
Dr. Wallace: My boyfriend and I are 18 and very much in love. Both of us are seniors and will graduate next June. We are destined to be husband and wife! We love each other so much that it hurts us both to be separated for even an hour. We want to get married during the Christmas holiday break.
Ken’s mother said that we could live with her. She has the room and lives alone with Ken. His father died several years ago and both of us living with her would cause no hardship. In fact, she would enjoy having us.
Both of my parents are “conditioned” to the idea that Ken and I will get married, but they would prefer that we wait until after we have both graduated. They think married life and its adjustments would put us under a lot of stress while we’re trying to finish school and graduate. I’m a very good student and my parents want to see me graduate with honors. I keep promising that I would never neglect my studies and even if I happened to get pregnant, the baby would be born at least four months after I have received my diploma.
My mother has suggested that it would be a good idea to write to you for your advice, but no matter what you say, we plan to get married during the holiday break. After all, we are legally adults and we know what is best for us. — Susan, Las Vegas, Nev.
Susan: You are writing to me and hoping that I will agree with your plan so you will have additional support in dealing with your parents. Sorry! My advice would be to graduate first, and then make plans for the rest of your lives. Marriage, and especially pregnancy, could, indeed, be a great distraction in your last months in high school!
I would urge patience. Even if you marry,
ROBERT WALLACE
you’ll occasionally have to be separated from each other for periods of time — well more than an hour! Not only that, neither of you should shortchange your individual psychological and social development for the sake of marriage. You’re both young, with much to learn. Also, I hope marriage is not something that would shut off other options for either of you, such as college.
Love, while the most essential ingredient in a successful marriage, it isn’t always enough to secure a happy marriage. You’ll also need the wherewithal to live independently, which means having the best education possible, because it will help in all phases of married life.
Dr. Wallace: I’m 17 and work part time in a fast-food restaurant. The manager, who is about 25, is known to be a big flirt. Last week he told me that I was a “very attractive young lady.” I live with my older sister and her husband, and they both told me that calling me attractive is a form of sexual harassment and that I should get a lawyer and sue him for a lot of money. Do you think they’re right? — Nameless, San Francisco
Nameless: I’m not an attorney, so my opinion doesn’t count as legal advice. But no, I don’t think you were sexually harassed. I doubt that a reputable lawyer would take your case and if one did, I seriously doubt that you would win.
That doesn’t mean I think your manager is innocent, or that his intentions are honorable. If the manager makes another comment regarding your appearance, tell him that his comments make you feel uncomfortable and to please stop making such comments.
If the manager continues these comments, then quit this job.