Is Gruden-Derek Carr marriage on the rocks?

ALAMEDA — After the Oakland Raiders’ Week 1 loss, Jon Gruden declared that his quarterback, Derek Carr, wasn’t being aggressive enough.

The way Gruden saw it, in that Monday night game against the Los Angeles Rams, there were chances to push the ball downfield that the dinking-and-dunking Carr missed. Those were chances that, if taken, might have given the Raiders a chance to win that game.

Carr accepted the note in stride and improved in Week 2.

But after Sunday’s Week 3 loss in South Florida, Gruden was bemoaning a different problem with his quarterback: Carr was too aggressive against the Miami Dolphins, and he threw away the game with his two interceptions.

“He’s trying too hard,” Gruden said Monday.

Carr is understandably going through some growing pains as he adapts to his new coach’s “death by papercuts” offense. The Raiders’ quarterback is still trying to find the balance between conservative, quick-throwing play and the deep-ball aggression that nearly won him the NFL’s MVP award in 2016.

But Gruden’s comments might be the first spark of a combustible situation.

At the very least, it’s fair to say that the dichotomous critiques don’t portend good things.

I asked Carr about Gruden’s comments on Wednesday. How do you find the right calibration when you’re asked to be more aggressive after one game and then, two weeks later, you’re asked to tone it down?

You never want to read too far into quotes in Alameda — Carr is always signing kumbaya and Gruden is still in TV commentator mode — but I was surprised that the question brought about a laugh from Carr.

“It’s funny man. We’re figuring that out together,” Carr said before shifting back into positive mode. “I’m going to continue to play my tail off. Every time I walk off of that field I know I gave it everything that I had. As long as I keep doing that and just listening to my coaches, we’ll be just fine.”

I tend to think Carr is right. After all, it’s only been three weeks — a small sample size, no doubt.

At the same time, three weeks was enough time for the Raiders’ to effectively torpedo their playoff chances.

And we’ve even seen teams change quarterbacks already this season (not that I’m saying that’s going to happen in Oakland anytime soon). As we head to the quarter mark of the season, it’s probably fair to take stock with the Raiders, too — even for a team that’s unofficially rebuilding.

At 0-3, the playoffs are a longshot on top of a longshot for the Raiders. Only 2.8 percent of 0-3 teams make the playoffs and no team has done it since the 1998 Buffalo Bills.

But if this team is going to make anything of this season, Carr cannot afford another “growing pains” game Sunday against the Browns. He needs to find that balance.

Is he going to find it against a Cleveland defense that can create pressure with a four-man rush? Against coverage schemes that Gruden admitted can be confusing for quarterbacks to recognize on the fly?

For both Carr and Gruden’s sake, he better.

Because nothing is sacred if you start 0-4.

Gruden has stated time and time again that he wanted to take the Raiders job in large part because he wanted to coach Carr, you have to remember that he said the same thing about Khalil Mack.