It’s OK if daughters don’t get married
Dear Annie: We have two daughters, ages 30 and 32. They are both educated professionals.
While they are completely self-sufficient financially (no debt because we paid for their higher education), we are still their “go-to” for emotional support.
They are active socially with friends, colleagues and acquaintances, but neither daughter seems interested in dating. We are continually told by others that they are still “young” and that, these days, young people don’t get married until their mid-30s.
We get that, but if there is no interest in dating now, how is marriage going to happen in the next five years?
How can we let this go? We’ve been happily married for 34 years and wish for that kind of love, companionship and support for our girls. — Parents of Perpetually Single Daughters
Dear Parents of Perpetually Single Daughters: They’re not broken, so stop trying to fix them up. You said it yourself that they are self-sufficient, have active social lives and value their relationships with you. There are plenty of parents reading this with envy.
It’s possible your girls will partner off in the next few years; it’s true that people are settling down later and later. But it’s also possible that they’ll never marry — and that is OK. Just because something has brought you fulfillment and joy doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for your children. Try always to bring your focus back to your gratitude that they are happy and healthy.
Dear Annie: In yesterday’s paper, you responded to a person who has been seven years sober and felt in a rut. I can understand. I have 28 years sober myself. Whenever I feel bad, I read this page in “The Big Book.” This is the 3rd edition and page 449. It has helped me through many a day. It reads: “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.” Thank you for all your help. — A friend of Bill W’s
Dear Friend of Bill’s: That is a rare pearl of wisdom — one anyone can glean insights from. Thank you for presenting it here.
Dear Annie: In response to the recent letter from “Alienated Alice,” the woman with intractable body odor (trimethylaminuria), I have a suggestion that may help. I used to work in a health food store, and we found out that taking chlorophyll supplements (copper chlorophyllin, 180 mg a day to start) is more effective and longer lasting than other methods of controlling this problem. Other chlorophyll supplements should be explored as well as vitamin B2. There are also chlorophyll mouth rinses to help control halitosis. I wish this poor lady the best of luck. — Prom Queen
Dear Prom Queen: While I could no scientific studies to support the use of chlorophyll for trimethylaminuria, I did find some anecdotal posts on the internet from people who have had some success using this supplement. Before use, consult your doctor and see if this is something that could be beneficial.