From passive-aggressive to patient
Dear Annie: I have been married for 34 years. Like all couples, there have been ups and downs. We have seen several counselors over the years to work with us in tough times. During those times, we still had intimacy in our marriage. We are now going on 15 months with no intimacy at all. She just says she does not feel connected to me.
We are going to counseling, and she said she was too overwhelmed with doing our finances alone. So, I got involved in that. Then she said that I could not make any sexual advances; it had to come from her. I have tried to make none, but I have slipped a few times. Now, she says that my drinking every day is our problem. So, I have cut back to a few cocktails on my off days. Still, I see no change on her part.
I hate to think of starting my life over again without her, but I want a partner who wants me. I’ve been loyal, do my own laundry, most of the house cleaning and, until this year, all the yard and house maintenance. I’m at a loss. — No Matter What I Do
Dear No Matter: Clearly, your wife is making excuses and being passive-aggressive instead of just telling you why she doesn’t feel connected to you. Marriage takes work and tough conversations.
Next time you are in counseling, express all of your concerns to her and make sure you tell her how she makes you feel when she puts you off. You both deserve to have a loving and connected marriage.
After 34 years, it is worth figuring out how to reconnect. Some ideas for reigniting intimacy in your relationship could be creating a date night, sharing the things that you love about each other or even taking a road trip together.
Dear Annie: In our attempt to stop this pandemic, many people refuse to do their share by the simple act of wearing a mask.
Initially, there was an uncertainty of whether masks would do any good, so the public was told not to use them yet, because the health care and other frontline workers needed to be the first priority.
After further research, it was determined that the main method of transmission of the virus was by the tiny respiratory droplets of spittle that comes out of our mouths when we talk, sing, sneeze or even breathe. When this was discovered, scientists and medical experts suggested that everyone should wear a mask.
This was several months ago, and this advice has not changed. Two people wearing masks six feet apart are very unlikely to infect each other.
In theory, if everyone in the country wore a mask, the pandemic would be over in a couple months. Wearing a mask is not an attempt by the government to limit your freedoms or tell you what to do, as some claim. It is an effort to save lives and bring an end to the pandemic as soon as possible. — Ohio Masked Man
Dear Ohio: It’s such a small thing that can make such a big difference. Please, wear masks and keep six feet away from other people. It’s an inconvenience but a temporary one.