There are some advantages to being average
When I was in private practice, my partner was a well-known psychiatrist.
He used to say to me, “Steve, we need to keep our narcissism in check.”
“Sure, Tom. That’s much easier said than done with people as brilliant as we.”
But I knew he was right. You see, my narcissism really comes out when fools and idiots criticize me. How can they be so stupid as to not see how marvelous I really am?
It makes me want to get away from this world of whackos — but to where?
Maybe I could talk Elon Musk into taking me on one of his spaceships.
Those skinny gray creatures in UF0s out there seem to be a lot smarter than humans. But how would I ever fit into one of those tiny little circular crafts?
I guess I’ll just have to suck it up an live with what I have down here.
Life would have been so much better had I been born average.
The Talk Show Host
I don’t get it:
Why did a long-time, former TV talk show host once ask his zoologist guest if a fish is an animal? Could he have been joking, and I just missed the punch line?
No, I don’t think so. I waited, but it never came.
The zoologist didn’t laugh either. From the surprise look on his face, I can imagine what he was thinking:
(Is this guy joking? Does he really think a fish is a plant? Where did he go to school? - The Bronx Academy for Flat Earth Science? I’ve got to come up with something fast. Here it goes:)
“Why, yes it is. You won’t find fish on the top ten servings for vegans, tee, hee.”
Talk show host: “Well, I wasn’t sure because most fish don’t drink milk.”
Zoologist: (Oh, no! He doesn’t know what a mammal is! Here we go again.)
“Well, dolphins and whales are mammals and do suckle their young.”
Talk show host: “So how can all the other creatures of the sea be animals if they don’t drink milk?”
Zoologist: (I’m digging myself a deeper hole here. Let’s see if I can get out of it:)
“Well you see, those two animals are not really fish. They’re marine mammals.”
Talk show host: “Oh, really? Well then, what are they doing in the ocean swimming with all the fish? And I don’t see any green uniforms with red sergeant stripes on them. Ha! Got you on that one! We’ll be right back after we sell some pillows and male enhancement pills.”
After the break, the zoologist does his best to change the subject.
My conclusion: Isn’t great we have TV talk show programs to fill the empty space in our lives? Otherwise, none of us would ever learn anything.
Sarcasm
Who says sarcasm is the lowest form of wit? If that’s the case, then why is it only the smarter people “get” it?
Of course, it’s really a way for repressed hostile people to let off steam without blowing their stacks. A lot of famous comedians have used it: George Carlin, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan, Gabriel Inglesias, Sebastian Maniscalco — just to name a few.
People with controlling personalities really don’t like sarcasm. They take it as a personal insult to their unwavering perspectives. But if they’re so smart, how come they’re not rich? On second thought, I guess some of them are.
Yet now that I think about it, perhaps it’s just as well, if not better, that some sarcastic folks don’t change their ways but just remain smart donkeys.