I’ll take my chances with the judge

Have you ever been called for jury duty? Did you go, or did you just throw the notice into a recycling bin — ignoring the warnings about jail and fines?

I go, but it seems like a waste of time. For example, anyone who has had the law school experience is usually told: “Thank you. You’re excused.”

Putting someone with a law enforcement or legal background on a jury is like having Chriss Angel determine whether or not David Copperfield has supernatural powers. The insiders know the plays.

But I have to admit going to the courthouse as a prospective juror is an interesting experience — especially during questioning of prospects, or what the courts call “voir dire.”

We get to see some of those who may be selected to help determine the liability, innocence or guilt of a defendant.

There are always folks with hardship and medical excuses. But for most courts, the hardships had better be pretty hard and medial conditions extremely contagious.

Once, a middle-aged man stated during voir dire: “That defendant sure looks guilty to me.” (He was right, but we can’t have him saying that in a fair trial, can we?)

Can’t forget the woman being questioned for a civil case involving a physician who used an ointment that caused first-degree burns. She thought a first degree was worse than a third degree. Even the judge couldn’t convince her otherwise.

Then there was the teacher who answered every question with “It depends,” along with an explanation. After 30 minutes, the court conceded. He was excused.

Yes, we all know a trial by jury in serious cases is a constitutional right, and it’s our civic duty to serve. The majority of jurors selected are competent and fair.

But quite frankly, if I had the aforementioned individuals deciding my fate, I think I’d rather take my chances with the judge.

Stop Lights

Don’t you hate stop lights?

There you are, cruising along at the speed limit and minding your own business when suddenly, an electronic device with no intelligence tells you to slam on the brakes just for the benefit of some person you’ve never met.

Oh, sure — you can drive right through it. Some people in our city do that all the time. But it creates a real mess should you come in contact with a speeding cement truck.

Remember, some poor soul has to clean all that up. So please, show some consideration.

The worst thing about these devices is when they order you to stop — in a bad area, in the middle of the night when it’s really deserted. You sit there — checking for any approaching strangers while pretending you’re “packing” — like Enzo in “The Godfather.”

Next thing you ponder is: “Do I obey the authority of this signal, or safely proceed anyway?”

If you choose the latter, just remember: There could be a black and white Ford SUV nearby — just quietly waiting for the fish to bite.

TV commercials

If people watch enough TV (and who doesn’t during the pandemic), they’ll see the same commercials played over and over again.

Some of these even get recycled from a few years past. Take that children’s hospital one:

First, you see this kid who’s about 10. Then five minutes later, he’s 17. After collecting $400 million in donations, you’d think they could spring for some new spots.

I don’t know what advertisers are thinking by repeating the same commercials ad nauseam. Maybe it’s: “If they don’t buy it on the first 75 views, 300 more ought to do it!”

Then there’s that pillow guy. I’ve seen the same actress in full makeup plop her head on a pillow at least 500 times saying she’s “more well rested” in the morning.

OK, I get it: Somebody’s got to pay the bills. But give me a break. All these repetitive “important announcements” accomplish is provide us with an opportunity to click the remote and see what else is on.

Here’s another repetitious one from an insurance company: “Only pay for what you need.” Well, duh: Why would I do otherwise?

“Click, click.” Wait, here’s something interesting…Oh, no! It’s that pillow guy again!