Ironic times, bad service and Cali vs. Florida
There was a time when Southern states flew the Confederate flag, saluted it and sang “Dixie” as their national anthem.
That’s when northern states flew the American Flag, saluted it and stood for their national anthem, which at the time was, “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.”
One hundred and sixty years later, the South now flies the American flag, salutes it and stands for the U.S. national anthem, “The Star Spangled Banner,” adopted in 1931.
At the same time, many folks in the north protest the flag, refuse to stand or salute it, and sit or kneel during the national anthem.
I don’t get it.
It seems like strange irony to me. Those guys shooting and blowing each other up during the Civil War apparently did it all for nothing.
Customer Service
You know as well as I do that customer service is pretty bad these days
Not only do we have to speak into computers, but when we actually get a human being, sometimes we wish we had the computer back.
Take the water softener company I was dealing with last week. They called and wanted to service my unit.
“OK,” I said and made an appointment.
But when the date arrived, no one showed up. Of course, I called:
“Hey, I’ve been waiting most of the day, where’s that water softener guy?”
“He’s not coming.” the young lady replied.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not my fault,” she answered. “I wasn’t here last week.”
Now my sarcasm really came out: “Oh, I guess if you’ve gone to the beach, then your customers can swim for themselves, right?”
“I can make another appointment for you,” she said. “How about next Thursday?”
“What time?”
I responded.
“Can’t tell you that. I’ll let you know an hour before he comes.”
“Never mind,” I concluded. “You might be down at the beach again, so I’ll service it myself.”
“Either that, or I’ll find a company that just uses talking computers.”
Florida
A friend of mine says I should move to Florida.
“Why do you stay in that crazy California?” he asks. “In Florida, we have no state tax, our license plates are cheap, sales tax is less, old folks get the vaccine first and businesses along with schools have been open for quite some time.”
“Our adults don’t act like tattling junior high kids, we actually prosecute our criminals and we don’t teach our young to hate America. We don’t hassle you about guns, our gas prices are $1 per gallon less and our roads are much better. Why don’t you move?”
“Now what a minute,” I answered. “Don’t go putting my beautiful state down. That swamp you live in isn’t so great. Your hurricanes scare the pants off me. The humidity makes green stuff grow on walls and even toenails. The summer heat makes Barstow look like Eureka, and those alligators, bugs and snakes down there make me feel like I’m Tarzan of the jungle.”
“Ah, what’s the matter, Stevie? The ‘I’m so tough’ Army veteran is afraid of a little inclement weather and a few bugs?”
“Well, it’s better here,” I replied. “We pay high taxes to save the planet. Our frail old people happily step aside to let selfless young teachers get their shots first. And by the way, I’ll bet open businesses and schools in your state are super spreaders. Even triple masks won’t save you now. Don’t you pay attention to those talking heads on TV?”
“OK, have it your way,” my now ex-friend countered. “At least our bad guys go to jail, we fly the flag and have guns that can protect us. I can even drive a jacked-up GMC pickup for what it costs you to drive one of those wimpy hybrids. ‘Beep, beep.’ Ha, ha!”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” was my final reply. “I’m staying right here in the Golden State. I don’t care if it kills me. Incidentally, I actually like our beat-up roads. The holes are safety features that keep us awake much better than your tedious silkysmooth tollways.”