Cousin’s visits are unwelcome

Dear

Annie:

A cousin of mine found out that we get all the different sports networks in our cable package, and ever since, he has invited himself over to watch games at our house all the time, on a weekly basis.

This was frustrating in itself — but then recently, something unbelievable happened. He was over watching a game at our house, yet again, when my 65-yearold girlfriend began having severe chest pains (which we later learned was a heart attack). As I attempted to figure out what was going on and to help her, this relative said that he’d get out of our way and abruptly left. He just walked out the door, not bothering to call 911 or even to shut the door behind him.

What do I do about my cousin? — Put Out

Dear Put Out: This guy’s behavior is so out of bounds; it’s not even in the stadium. Treating your house like his own personal sports bar was rude. Turning his back on you and your girlfriend in a lifethreatening situation was flat-out heartless. I really hope she’s OK.

If he dares to invite himself over again after what happened, let him know you’ll no longer be hosting him for games. It’s that simple. Embrace the power of “no.”

Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I will have been together three years next month. He doesn’t say he loves me, and he refuses to talk about feelings in general. He won’t make love to me or even hold my hand or kiss me. When I spend the night at his place, he avoids lying close to me in bed.

He says he has no sex drive, but he just turned 50. I’m a nice-looking woman who stays in shape. The one time we’ve had sex in the past year, it was all about him — no concern for my needs.

On top of this, he never compliments me.

What should I do? — Lonely Girlfriend

Dear Lonely: The recipe for strong romantic relationships calls for affection, intimacy, dedication and communication. If physical intimacy were the only missing ingredient, I’d say that he should see a doctor about his low libido, as it can signal serious underlying health problems. But sex isn’t the only missing ingredient. He’s giving you nothing to work with.

I know this is easier said than done, but I really encourage you to end this relationship and spend some quality time with yourself. It will be hard at first, but in the long run, you will feel much less lonely on your own than you do in this relationship.

Return to the dating scene only after you’d rather be by yourself than with the wrong person.