Today, on ‘Jeopardy potpourri’ ...
Igrew up watching the game show Jeopardy with Art Fleming. Wedged between Concentration and Hollywood Squares it was a staple on weekday mornings. On occasion, Art would present the contestants with the category of “Potpourri.” As a 10-year-old kid, I had no idea what that meant. It took me a few years to realize that “Potpourri” in Jeopardy terms meant a category where the clues don’t have anything in common. With that in mind, I present to you today’s version of Potpourri. And as Alex Trebek would remind you, always answer in the form of a question.
Answer: Chicago Cubs third baseman Jonathan Villar came up to bat against the Dodgers the other day wearing this protective equipment:
Question: What is a batting helmet with cheek protector, two batting gloves, a rubber thumb protector, a plastic elbow guard, a plastic shin guard, two forearm wraps, a neoprene arm sleeve, and a gold cross?
Willie Mays, arguably the greatest player who lived, just turned 91 years old and all he took up to the plate for protection was the dirt he rubbed on his hands and guts.
Answer: A sign at the front gate of a large cemetery in San Joaquin County prohibits this kind of activity on the grounds:
Question: What is “No Barbecue Grills. No Ice Chests. No Tables or Chairs Placed on Graves. No Tents or Canopies. No Overdecorating Your Grave Space. No Alcohol or Drugs. No Parties. No Loud Noise or Music at Any Time.”
Seriously, I did a double take when I saw the sign the other day. But then I thought back to something I witnessed there a few years ago. I was visiting a relative’s gravesite when I noticed a group of people setting up for a shindig at a nearby grave. One of them had a shovel and was digging up chunks of lawn on the graves next to their loved one’s final resting place.
The guy was planting flowers and a small tree on top of someone else.
Like I’ve always told my kids, cemeteries are for the living, not the dead. It appears some people have taken that way too literally.
Answer: This under researched cause of climate change is affecting the San Joaquin Valley:
Question: What is paving over vineyards, orchards, and pasture land?
A couple just donated $1.1 billion to Stanford to form a school to study climate change. It doesn’t take over a billion dollars to figure out that a subdivision with asphalt streets isn’t quite as good for the environment as a big old cherry orchard.
Answer: This canon law has governed church signs since they began making church signs.
Question: What is every sign on the lawn in front of a church must contain at least one groanworthy saying like, “Jesus Isn’t on Facebook but You Can Still Follow Him” or “John the Baptist said, ‘Come on In. The Water’s Fine?’”
Of course, the folks who put up the sign laugh and think, “Made you look, didn’t we? Heathen.”
Answer: These two stories in a recent edition of The Sentinel appeared to indicate the state government doesn’t have a clue:
Question: What is “We’ll all have to be in electric cars sooner than later” and “We’re going to have blackouts this summer because we don’t have enough electricity?”
Where is all that electricity for our George Jetson cars going to come from anyway? Maybe we can dismantle the one mile of high speed rail that’s been built and use the parts to make charging stations up and down I-5. Brilliant!
Answer: Something that people don’t do in public anymore that they did thirty years ago:
Question: What is comb or brush their hair? We would have accepted whistling, opening the car door open for someone else, or respecting the opinion of someone with a different political view.
We were in Old Sacramento the other day and I saw a guy take a comb out of his back pocket and go to town on his hairdo. I was mesmerized.
Final Jeopardy
Answer: Along with Elon Musk, this person is considered to be a source of information so vital that without them, society as we know it would cease to exist:
Question: Who is Steve Mann?