Flailing after ‘waddle’ slip

Dear Readers: While on vacation, this week’s “best of ” columns come from deep within the Ask Amy vault.

Dear Amy: I recently had a business meeting with a noticeably overweight person. He was going to pull a file from a different office and get back with me. I then said this: “Sounds great. Just get back to me after you waddle up to …” I was not sure if I was using “waddle” in an offhand way or whether it was an unconscious reference to how he walked.

I felt terrible, so on a friend’s advice I sent him a card apologizing for my comment and saying I had not meant to draw attention to his weight.

Another friend said I should not have sent the card, as it just drew attention to a slip-up that was best forgotten and would not have changed the incident.

Flummoxed

Dear Flum: I don’t know if there is any “correct” way to gracefully pull your foot out of your mouth, but I know what most people do: They do nothing and then just avoid the victim for the next 40 years. So good for you for trying to clean this up.

And don’t apologize for your apology. You’ve done enough. (September 2003)

Dear Amy: I have been trying to shake a cold for weeks. I have co-workers who have been fighting colds too. I’m sure we’re simply giving it back and forth to each other.

But what do you do when a co-worker is constantly coughing in your face without covering his/her mouth?

I find it impolite, but there’s truly no way to say something without sounding like a jerk.

I realize that sometimes you have to come in sick. But can’t people who are coughing cover their mouths for the sake of the rest of us?

Mr. Sniffles

Dear Sniff les: Disease-spreading aside, I find the worst part of this problem is the fact that you don’t seem to think your colleague is adult enough to handle a simple request from you. Even if she isn’t, you need to proceed as if she is. Short of installing a sneeze guard on your cubicle, what if you spoke to or emailed your office-mate: “I can tell you’re so sick, but now I’m afraid I’m getting it. Could you do me a favor and make sure to cover your mouth whenever you sneeze or cough?”

This request might be best delivered with a box of tissues. (February 2004)

Dear Amy: I’m 22 and have a 50-year-old co-worker, and I think she has a crush on me. I look at this woman as if she were my grandma. I am a very friendly individual and get along with everyone.

She asked for my number to call me to go to church with her. Now she just calls to see what I’m doing. How do I tell her that I’m not interested in her without endangering our friendship?

Wondering

Dear Wondering: I think you should avoid all her calls outside the office.

When at the office, just be friendly and professional, but don’t encourage her toward a relationship outside the office in any way. If she asks you to do something after work, a polite “thanks for the invitation, but I spend most of my free time with my buds from college” should discourage her. (March 2004)