6 ways to protect your time and stop being so darn busy

W hy are we so busy all the time? I’m convinced it’s because we want to be — and want to complain about it, too. The more busy you are, the more important you feel.

But by worshipping busy-ness, you’re avoiding the things that actually need

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to get done. You fill the day with the distraction of being overcommitted. When you idolize being busy, you use quantity instead of quality to measure your selfworth.

When you get sucked into the habit of being busy — and can’t figure out how to say no — you’re really saying that being busy makes you feel one of these three ways:

Important. Your mini-ego trip is wrapped up in your busyness. You want people to know that you have lots of important things to do.

Included. You have a bad case of FOMO (fear of missing out), so you schedule everything so you don’t miss a moment of anything.

Productive. The more things you add into your schedule, the more productive you are, right? Wrong.

Being busy does not mean you are necessarily being productive. It may mean that you just don’t know how to say “no.” But let’s face it, saying “no” is hard. You maybe feel like you’re being pulled in 10 different directions at all times and you just can’t muster up the courage to turn anyone down.

But it’s time to ask: Does this event/ activity/project add value to your life? Do you even want to do it? Or are you just saying “yes” because you feel obligated or trapped?

In the past, I’ve felt overwhelmed by my busy schedule. I felt like every invitation was an obligation. If I said “no,” they’d be devastated, I’d be a horrible friend or employee, and their entire life would be ruined. Have you ever said “yes” to something just because you felt this way too? It’s pretty narcissistic of us all to think that people and events will be ruined if we aren’t in attendance.

The truth: you control your time, and only you can purposefully decide what needs to be in your schedule, and what you should pass on.

But learning to say “no” can be pretty difficult until we learn to respect our own boundaries.

Six easy ways to say “no”

• Blame it on the budget: “Unfortunately, that doesn’t fit into my budget this month, but I appreciate the invitation!”

• Blame it on your schedule: “That sounds like something I would love, but I’m already so overcommitted. Thank you for thinking of me though!”

• Blame it on priorities: “That seems like a very interesting project, but I really don’t have the bandwidth to take anything else on this quarter. I like to make sure I can give my best to everything. Keep me updated on your progress!”

• Blame it on family: “Oh, we’d really enjoy that event, but that’s our family night, and we never skip that!”

• Blame it on exhaustion: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I am going to keep that night open. I am usually exhausted on (night of the week) and need to just relax and recharge.”

• Just say no. You don’t need to give an explanation of why something doesn’t serve you well.

— Adrienne Dorison, for Brazen Careerist