Stay-at-home moms, and dads

Los Angeles Times - - OPINION -

Re “No need for moms to stay at home,” Opin­ion, April 3

Jes­sica Grose failed to ad­dress the unique im­por­tance of the first two pre­ver­bal years. It is dur­ing this pe­riod that 80% of brain devel­op­ment oc­curs, and a child de­vel­ops the abil­ity to trust and to love and a sense of op­ti­mism.

Pre­dictable and con­tin­u­ous care by a par­ent cre­ates a se­cure at­tach­ment. This al­lows a child to feel pro­tected and val­ued. Clin­i­cians have found that chil­dren with early at­tach­ment deficits may have dif­fi­culty in school, obey­ing the law and in form­ing last­ing re­la­tion­ships.

In con­trast, older chil­dren who have lan­guage are able to un­der­stand the com­ing and go­ing of work­ing par­ents and to deal with the stress of pre­dictable sep­a­ra­tions, day care and mul­ti­ple care­givers.

The best in­vest­ment any par­ent will ever make is act­ing as the child’s pri­mary care giver from birth un­til age 2.

Is­abelle Fox Sher­man Oaks

The writer, a psy­chother­a­pist, is the au­thor of “Be­ing There: The Benefits of a Stay-At-Home Par­ent.”

I liked this part from Grose’s piece about moth­ers’ de­ci­sions to stay with their chil­dren or work out­side the home: “The be­lief that women are the es­sen­tial par­ent was re­lated to lower life sat­is­fac­tion.”

This myth starts early in our cul­ture. For in­stance, why are there so many baby showers in which only the mom is cel­e­brated and only other women are in­vited? Where is dad and the other dads, un­cles, broth­ers and grandpa?

As John Oliver would say, “Why is this still a thing?”

Janet King San Diego

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