TOP OF THE ORDER

Zach Helfand ranks the 30 teams. Last week’s ranking in parentheses, statistics are through Friday:

1. ST. LOUIS: The Cardinals’ entire rotation is paid less than the Angels are paying Josh Hamilton. (3)

2. KANSAS CITY: The Royals are 19-0 when they score six runs or more. (1)

3. WASHINGTON: Bryce Harper slammed his bat after hitting a pop fly during the week. It still went out for a home run. (2)

4. SAN FRANCISCO: The Giants’ May success should be familiar to Silicon Valley types. It’s what they’d call a bubble. (4)

5. MINNESOTA: It’s hard to find a hotter team than the Twins, who have won 10 of 13 series since mid-April. (11)

6. HOUSTON: The Astros are first in home runs and second to last in batting average. (6)

7. DODGERS: Have played only two 2014 postseason teams, the Giants and Cardinals, and those matchups haven’t gone well. (8)

8. DETROIT: The Tigers are trying out the Dodgers’ strategy: they scored six runs in a fourgame stretch. (5)

9. PITTSBURGH: The Pirates gave up two runs or less six times in a seven-game winning streak. (23)

10. CHICAGO CUBS: Pitcher Jon Lester set the record for consecutive hitless at-bats to start a career, with 59. (7)

11. NEW YORK METS: They’re winning more than two-thirds of home games and losing more than two-thirds on the road. (12)

12. SEATTLE: Felix Hernandez is already 8-1 with 71 strikeouts. (17)

13. ANGELS: The underperforming lineup is 21st or worse in runs, batting average, on-base percentage and slugging. (9)

14. TEXAS: It took the Angels’ left fielders 47 games to hit two home runs. Josh Hamilton hit as many on Friday. (19)

15. BALTIMORE: Orioles have been the least-bad AL East team lately, which is like being the least corrupt FIFA official. (15)

16. NEW YORK YANKEES: They lose seven in a row, sweep the Royals, then lose some more. Go figure.(20)

17. TAMPA BAY: Rays seized opportunity presented by the Yankees by losing six games. (10)

18. ARIZONA: Paul Goldschmidt is third among all hitters in wins above replacement, above even Mike Trout. (13)

19. SAN DIEGO: For all the off-season moves, this season’s record through 50 games is the same as last year’s. (21)

20. ATLANTA: Take good care of Juan Uribe, Braves. (14)

21. CLEVELAND: Corey Kluber has 50 strikeouts in his last four starts. (18)

22. CHICAGO WHITE SOX: Jose Abreu had only three home runs in May. (16)

23. TORONTO: Bad news: pitching staff is lousy. Good news? It’s the AL East, it doesn’t have to be that good. (25)

24. OAKLAND: By Friday, the Athletics’ run differential was at zero, but it was 13 games under .500. (30)

25. COLORADO: The Rockies quietly won six out of seven games. (28)

26. BOSTON: Red Sox have the worst record in the AL East, which is like being the most corrupt FIFA official. (22)

27. MIAMI: Three of the five longest home runs this year belong to Giancarlo Stanton. (29)

28. CINCINNATI: Golf clap for the Reds, who actually won a game after losing nine games in a row. (24)

29. MILWAUKEE: Brewers already have two losing streaks of seven games or more this season. (27)

30. PHILADELPHIA: GM says Phillies fans “don’t understand the game.” But the man who assembled this team does? (26)