Grad’s new adventure

Los Angeles Times - - COMICS - Send ques­tions for Amy Dickinson to askamy@tri­bune.com.

Dear Amy: My 24-year-old daugh­ter just grad­u­ated from col­lege af­ter a dif­fi­cult jour­ney and sev­eral false starts. We are very proud of her.

This sum­mer she plans to work as a teacher’s as­sis­tant at her col­lege, then move out of state and find a job. Be­fore she starts her sum­mer job, she is plan­ning to drive from the Mid­west to the West Coast, camp­ing along the way.

Orig­i­nally she said two friends were go­ing with her, so I of­fered to switch cars and let her use mine, since my car is more re­li­able.

I later found out that the friends backed out and she was plan­ning to go on the trip alone.

I told her I would not sup­port the plan to camp and drive across the coun­try alone and I was no longer of­fer­ing my car or camp­ing equip­ment for her to use.

I of­fered to pay for a train ticket or air­line ticket and rental car at her des­ti­na­tion. She still in­sists on go­ing by car and doesn’t un­der­stand why I won’t lend her my car.

She says if I love her and want her to be safe then I would lend her my car. I say the de­ci­sion to go at all is hers, and it is a poor de­ci­sion. I stand by my de­ci­sion.

I would ap­pre­ci­ate your ad­vice on what you would do.

Picked-Apart Par­ent

Dear Par­ent: Your logic is ironic (at best) and f lawed (at worst), be­cause you claim to be most con­cerned about your daugh­ter’s safety and now you have re­moved the pri­mary fac­tor that might en­sure at least a mea­sure of safety. How­ever, I un­der­stand your choice and would have done the same (such is the logic of par­ent­ing).

You should not cave in to ma­nip­u­la­tion in or­der to par­tic­i­pate in a scheme to which you are en­tirely op­posed. And, by the way, “If you loved me you would lend me your car” is a cheap trick and not wor­thy of a per­son about to start her adult life.

Give your daugh­ter AAA membership and an ex­tra cell­phone charger for her trip. Urge her to keep in touch ev­ery day. This way you will be equip­ping her to wisely use the tools she al­ready pos­sesses. This is an im­por­tant trait — in camp­ing and in life.

Dear Amy: Why do so many women play games on th­ese dat­ing sites? I have to laugh when I read their pro- files and they say, “I’m real!”

Why lie? You have to be com­pletely hon­est. Why do all the women go for the Tom Cruises and the Brad Pitts of the world? They pass up good guys!

A Good Guy

Dear Good Guy: Quick story: Back in the Pleis­tocene era when I was a mid­dle-aged sin­gle mom, I went out with a guy who told me dur­ing our date that he had a pro­file up on a well-known dat­ing site. The age range of women this 45-year-old man was in­ter­ested in dat­ing was 23 to 33. There’s that. And, while we’re at it, why do so many men post 10-year-old pic­tures of them­selves stand­ing next to speed­boats?

Nice guys have a Brad Pitt prob­lem. Nice women have a Heidi Klum prob­lem. It’s just the way it is.

Some on­line match­ing sites are bet­ter than oth­ers at at­tract­ing “real peo­ple.” Use the site that best matches your per­son­al­ity. When you are matched with some­one, be open and be your­self. There is a “real” An­gelina out there, wait­ing for you, Brad.

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