Room­mate ex­pects boyfriend warn­ing

Los Angeles Times - - THE GUIDE - Send ques­tions to Amy Dickinson by email to askamy@tri­bune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tri­bune, TT500, 435N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

Dear Amy: I live in a shared apart­ment with two other women. We are all in our 20s. One of them has a boyfriend and spends a lot of time at his house, so she fre­quently has him come in when she stops by to pick up clothes.

I don’t know him well, and it makes me un­com­fort­able when she brings him into our home with no warn­ing. Ihave told her this mul­ti­ple times, but she con­tin­ues to do it. We will be part­ing ways at the end of our lease in a few months, but this both­ers me and I feel it is in­ap­pro­pri­ate.

Am I out of line in ex­pect­ing some warn­ing be­fore bring­ing a guest into the apart­ment, even if it is only for a few min­utes?

Frus­trated Room­mate

Dear Frus­trated: You are out of line in ex­pect­ing your room­mate to give you warn­ing of bring­ing her friend into your (and her) home for some­thing as be­nign as pick­ing up her clothes.

It would be quite another mat­ter if she gave him a key and he popped in alone and unan­nounced. But you don’t get to choose the peo­ple your room­mate as­so­ci­ates with, es­pe­cially if they in­ter­sect with your life for brief mo­ments — and al­ways are ac­com­pa­nied by her.

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