An age gap and a wage gap

Dear Amy: I am a 24-yearold woman. My 18-year-old boyfriend doesn’t make enough money and won’t save.

The age difference between us doesn’t bother me, but his money management does.

We split all the shared bills, but he lost his job and in the three-week gap before getting a new one he managed to borrow $1,200 from me (which he wants to pay back).

He says he wants a second job but just comes up with excuses. He’s an amazing, sweet guy that I love, but I’ve started resenting him.

I have taken him out and paid for movies, dates, etc., but I want to feel financially stable. I want a man who can take care of me (more than just emotionally).

I want to talk to him about this, but he gets so defensive. Am I being ridiculous?

He did nothing for me on my birthday last month, and when I confronted him that it hurt that he couldn’t even write me a love note, or buy a $1 card, or do anything cheap (or free), he just made excuses.

I told him I knew he spent money on weed instead of on me. It hurts to know he’s spending money he doesn’t have on pot rather than paying my money back or celebrating my birthday.

Am I becoming my boyfriend’s sugar mama? Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: It is shocking that — knowing how you feel about money and what you know about your boyfriend — you would give him $1,200. You will NEVER see that money again.

Your boyfriend should not have to “take care of you” financially. You are obviously capable of taking care of yourself. If you resent bankrolling him, then you shouldn’t do it.

He is 18. He is handling his money the way many 18year-old people do, and making choices that immature people make. If he is a heavy pot user, it will naturally soak up a fair amount of his income, as well as affect his initiative.

You are 24. If you want someone who is more mature, financially stable and grown-up, you should probably find someone who matches your maturity and initiative. Stability is obviously an important value to you, so choose someone stable.

I highly recommend being on your own for a while. Being alone is preferable to babysitting and bankrolling your guy’s weed habit.

Dear Amy: The more I am around people using their smartphones at inappropriate times, the more I am aware of how rude such behavior is.

I was with some family members and an older friend when two of the family members, (both over 60) were talking on their phones and texting while at dinner.

It was embarrassing! They were upset and defensive when I made a comment about it. Sick of Cells

Dear Sick:My casual observation is that adolescents do this, and then the distraction wanes until people hit the age of 60 or so. Older people seem to be very heavy smartphone users, and also oblivious to the impact on others.

The next time you go out with them, ask your companions if they would be willing to play a game: The first person to reach for their phone pays for dessert.

Send questions to askamy@ tribune.com or to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.