An­other kind of spousal abuse

Los Angeles Times - - OPINION -

Re “Shel­ter­ing men from a hid­den dan­ger, “Aug. 5

I read your piece on abused male part­ners, hus­bands and fa­thers with pain in my heart.

My fa­ther — a gen­tle, quiet, man — was larger and stronger than my mother, but she abused him through­out their mar­ried life. I have mem­o­ries of my fa­ther dodg­ing plates as they crashed into the walls be­hind him. Ver­bal abuse was much more com­mon with clenched-teeth-filled in­vec­tives aimed at him with ven­omous in­tent.

They stayed mar­ried for more than 50 mis­er­able years. The ef­fect on their chil­dren was not min­i­mal. My sis­ter never mar­ried. I was a “dis­ci­pline prob­lem” in school from elementary through high school. I was very guarded at home, walk­ing on “eggshells,” lest I be the fo­cus of her tirades.

Thanks for shin­ing a light on an of­ten hid­den so­cial mal­ady that is vastly un­der-re­ported. Marc Bresler


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