Rules for men
Re “How far is too far in the age of Weinstein?” Opinion, Nov. 1
Cathy Young says that “sexual interaction will happen unless the workplace is regulated to a dehumanizing degree and realistically, some unwanted sexual attention will happen as well.” Yes, boys will be boys, and expecting them not to give unwanted sexual attention is just absurd. It’s just too high a bar. Let’s make it easy for them with some rules, shall we? No touching. (OK, if a person has fallen down and you want to help them, maybe. But ask first.) And for those who are still unsure, just ask the other person, “Do you mind if I run my hand up your back or down your arm? Would that make you uncomfortable?”
No comments on how clothes are fitting. Example: “Boy, those pants are tight in just the right places.”
Generally, no comments on what you would like to do with the other person when you’re alone.
If you’ve been in the habit of crossing the line, start practicing these three rules. Of course, that would require you to stop thinking that you can do anything you want to someone else because you have the power. But Harvey Weinstein, James Tobak, Bill O’Reilly and Bill Cosby had the power, and see where they are now. Pat Conwell, La Mesa
Those who dismiss sexual harassment essentially say, “Why don’t those women pick up and leave their jobs? Why get a man fired just because he planted a couple of unwanted kisses at a company event? Why let low-level lechery ruin a man’s career?”
Young gives an example: “In another harsh example, Roy Price, the former head of Amazon Studios, lost his job over a single complaint of propositioning a female executive at a booze soaked event in 2015. (There is no suggestion that Price tried to retaliate for rejection.)” How nice of him. Do men, especially men who control the hiring of women, really need to be protected from the consequences of their sexual misconduct?
Young appears not to understand what the women who are now gathering their courage to speak, giving other like-women that same courage, have endured because of the freedom of untold numbers of sexually predatory men to do or say what they will to women. June Bailey
Thousand Oaks
Is the current rash of whistle-blowing after the Harvey Weinstein allegations a bandwagon overreaction, or the long-overdue disclosure of an insidious practice that has been allowed to go on far too long?
Is it fair to make a charge years or even decades after the alleged event? Is the alleged perpetrator automatically to be found guilty in the court of public opinion and immediately punished, just based on someone’s say-so? Does a signed nondisclosure agreement really preclude reporting a personal violation?
That’s a lot to consider, certainly more than space permits. Perhaps a time limit on reporting sexual misconduct (its length depending on the severity of the alleged assault) may be a place to start, not only for early detection but to deter further incidents.
Far from belittling the alleged victims’ pain, seeing a violator found out and punished as early as possible would seem to be a pretty good anesthetic. Kevin Dawson
Los Angeles