General directions

Your 2018 resolutions might stand a chance if they’re not so specific

The only New Year’s resolution Blake Terry is going to make this year is not to make any New Year’s resolutions. “I’m done with that,” says Terry, 32. “I’ve made resolutions about losing weight, going back to school, finding a new job, learning how to play the piano and none of them turned out. All that happened was I felt bad about myself for not accomplishing the one thing I set out to do for the year.”

The Chicago paralegal says he actually has had success mapping out plans for his career but they’re usually based on actions, not a pledge.

“I learned not to promise to learn to play piano. Instead, I say I’m going to give an hour a day to working on a new skill,” says Terry. “Some weeks I play piano three days and work on speaking French for two. It works for me because it never feels like a job. It’s always something I want to do.” Big-picture plans

Terry’s approach summarizes career coach Beth Connor’s work with her clients. “I preach some specialization but mostly, I’m a huge generalist,” says Connor, who lives in Washington, D.C. “It can be a trap to rely too much on achieving a very specific goal. And although we consider goals like ‘make more money’ pretty standard, something like that can be very limiting.”

If you’re only focused on making more money, you may make decisions that have short-term benefits but cause long-term problems. “How many people left secure, well-paying jobs in the 1990s for dot-com startups that paid smaller salaries but promised a huge amount of shares?” Terry asks. “And how many of those people found themselves out of work within a year, stuck with a bunch of worthless shares?”

Terry says that instead of banking on their new jobs becoming another Amazon or Google, the grass-is-always-greener employees of the 1990s might have been better served finding similar positions in established companies. “I love the allure of two guys in a garage as much as the next person, but unless you’re a trust-fund kid, you’ll sacrifice money and stability for a dream,” Terry says. “Make your goal about learning a new skill and then sharing that knowledge. That’s more achievable and if you have responsibilities to your family, a lot safer.” Lifestyle choices

Terry points to the local health club during the first week of January as more proof of a “self-defeating” specific approach. “The treadmills are filled with people who have very specific goals: fit into my bikini for vacation in March, lose weight for my wedding, bulk up for the summer,” she says. “Those are noble goals but probably not as effective as ‘create a healthier lifestyle’ or ‘exercise five days a week.’ Those are real goals and they’re difficult but they lack the cache of ‘fit into my bikini.’”

Dawn Carlson, a 42-year-old graphic designer in Media, Pennsylvania, says she took a more general approach to her resolution a few years ago and it’s paid off. “Pretty simple, really; I told my husband I need to spend more time with my mom so I left it at that,” she says. “In the past, I’d promise to take her shopping once a week or to church and then out to lunch, and life can get busy, so it didn’t always happen.”

And once it didn’t? “Well, then you let yourself off the hook,” Carlson says. “You give it a shot but it didn’t work out, so you move on.” Be flexible

In 2014, Carlson kept her resolution simple. “Spending more time with my mom meant a lot of things, not just a weekly event,” she says. “If I couldn’t take her to church, I’d stop by that night with Chinese food. If we didn’t go shopping, we’d go see a movie later on that week.”

Terry says Carlson’s approach, which is seemingly obvious, worked because she was able to be flexible with her plans and because she was able to keep moving toward her goal when things didn’t work out. “Think of the guy who wants to lose weight for his high school reunion. He breaks down and orders a pizza on January 5 and then spends the next 360 days feeling like he didn’t follow through on his New Year’s resolution,” Terry says. “If he strived for a healthier lifestyle, he could eat a couple of slices, work out the next day and get right back on the horse.”