How he expresses his love

Dear Amy: I have been happily married to my husband for two years. While he is loving and a good provider, he is not overly romantic. I would love nothing more than for him to surprise me with flowers one day because he was thinking of me, but he’s never given me flowers. Valentine’s Day comes and goes without a peep from him.

I have voiced my concerns to him, but he usually gets frustrated and says that he takes care of me, keeps the house in order and works 60 hours a week to provide for me (all of this is true) and that should be enough.

I don’t question whether he loves me (I know he does), and I know I should be more grateful for all the wonderful things he does. There is just always that part of me that wants some of the romance and spontaneity that I fantasize about.

Am I being petty? Shouldn’t I just put my silly desires for flowers aside and be grateful that he nearly breaks his back to feed and shelter me? Wanting Romance

Dear Wanting: It’s not petty to want romance in your life, but I think you’re getting romanced every single day. You just don’t see it because you’re defining romance one way and your husband is defining it differently.

If you could train yourself to change your perspective even slightly, you would stop scanning the driveway for the flower delivery person and instead see that the guy dragging himself home after work carrying a bag of groceries is telling you that he loves you in ways that are visceral and lasting.

Maybe you should express your own love by giving your husband flowers for his bedside table. Express your love and gratitude spontaneously and learn to see his efforts as important, worthy and just as beautiful.

Dear Amy: One of my coworkers wrote and self-published a motivational book.

He then gave everyone in the office copies, begging us to read it and leave favorable comments online.

I read the book but didn’t like it. At all. It was poorly written and — awful.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but to recommend his book seems wrong, especially since I didn’t think it was good. What should I do? Conflicted Co-Worker Dear Conflicted: Unless your job is “professional book reader and recommender,” you are not obligated to do anything to publicize this book, and you are certainly not obligated to lie in comments and say that you like it.

That being said, you should be careful about what you say about the book, especially since it was written by a co-worker that (I’m assuming) you see almost every day and have to maintain a professional relationship with.

For now, stick to the adage: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Avoid discussing this at work, and keep your opinions off of social media.

If this co-worker asks you specifically for an opinion or feedback, be polite about his effort (“Wow, that was quite an undertaking!”), but do not offer feedback or criticism, because the book is already written and printed.

If he continues to push you and your other co-workers to leave comments, be simple and direct. Say, “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel comfortable doing that.”