A very naughty Pumpkin

Dear Amy: My wife and recently learned that our cat “Pumpkin” has taken to entering a neighbor’s house through their cat door and picking fights with the neighbor’s cat — inside their house!

This resulted in the neighbor’s cat having to be taken to the vet.

Pumpkin has been an outdoor cat for 10 years. The neighbors are new.

We are, of course, appalled by our cat’s behavior but don’t know how to stop it, short of keeping our cat inside. Keeping him in full time would be awful, because when he wants to go outside, he is aggressive and destructive.

Our neighbor has respectfully communicated the trouble Pumpkin has caused, requesting most recently that we keep him inside on a night when she would be out of town and unable to break up fights between the two cats.

Stopping this problem requires one of us to give up some freedom. Either we have to keep Pumpkin inside, or our neighbor needs to give up her cat’s ability to come and go freely through an open cat door.

We know we need to communicate respectfully with our neighbor to find a solution. Any ideas?

PEACE-ABLE NEIGHBORS

Dear Neighbors: Your “outdoor” cat might not ever adjust to being inside full time, but it must be stated that cats — yours and theirs — are easy prey for coyotes, cars and feline leukemia.

The solution here is for you to invest in a new cat door as a gift for your neighbor. You want to get the kind that has a computer chip on it, matching a chip on that cat’s collar, so it will only open when that particular cat approaches. Not only will this keep your cat out of the neighbor’s house, but it will also keep other animals such as raccoons from entering through the cat door.

This is going to cost you. But it will cost less than a lawsuit. Your neighbors have been great up until now. Don’t count on this lasting.

Until you can make these arrangements, you should ask if your neighbors would be willing to adhere to a basic schedule and latch their cat door closed, perhaps at night. You will then have to keep your dude on a leash if he needs to go out on their cat’s schedule.

Dear Amy: I am a 20-yearold gay man in college. I am open about my sexual orientation, but I feel like the odds are stacked against me in the dating world.

I can’t afford dating sites, and going to clubs/bars (when I turn 21) is not really my thing, so I have a feeling that the people I would meet there are people who wouldn’t share my interests. But it’s hard to find out gay guys wherever.

I don’t NEED a relationship, but I want one, and I feel like that’s not even an option. OUT BUT NOT ABOUT

Dear Out: Finding a relationship will start with finding and forming friendships with other students across a wide spectrum. Everything will flow from there.

Join organizations aligning with your interests as a way to meet other students. Attend concerts, rallies, games, theater productions and lectures. Also consider joining your campus’ LGBTQ organization.

Be patient, and put your energy into becoming the best version of you. A relationship will happen in good time.