All Trump’s tacky guys
Harvey Levin’s gossip juggernaut TMZ reported Wednesday that Michael Avenatti, nattily dressed lawyer for Stormy Daniels, had been arrested on domestic violence charges.
The article set off alarms. Initially it claimed the victim of Avenatti’s alleged abuse was his estranged second wife, Lisa Storie. Storie issued a statement denying TMZ’s tale. For good measure, Avenatti’s first wife also said he’d never laid a hand on her. No woman has yet corroborated that Avenatti was violent with her.
Why pay attention to this kind of Jerry Springer stuff when our benighted nation seems to be slouching toward constitutional crisis or civil war or both?
Well, because — as usual in Trump times — salaciousness and statecraft are one. There is increasingly no difference in the carnies of TMZ, the carnies of pseudo-news and the carnies of the White House.
Indeed, Levin is a great friend of President Trump. Part of the reason the TMZ report on Avenatti seemed suspect, even to Avenatti’s many skeptics, is that Trump is known for enlisting his tabloid pals in nefarious schemes, and siccing them on his political and personal foes.
Time for a refresher. Reports are that David J. Pecker of American Media and the National Enquirer, Trump’s onetime bosom buddy, helped buy the silence of another of Trump’s skin-mag girlfriends in 2016. Pecker was investigated by the U.S. attorney in New York for these payments but then was granted immunity to testify. All of this is to say that he is now not someone Trump can turn to for anything much.
But TMZ’s Levin may be. TV’s “Young Turk” Cenk Uygur calls Levin “a clear, biased, Trump-supporting clown,” and doesn’t put it past him to push a wholecloth fictional hit job on Avenatti, Trump’s despised rival.
Jacob Wohl, who recently tried to use his cardboard company Surefire Intelligence to frame special counsel Robert S. Mueller III for fabricated sex crimes, seemed to take credit for Avenatti’s arrest on Twitter: “Surefire Intelligence strikes again.”
Now Avenatti tweets that he’s coming for Wohl. Others say he should bring down TMZ. Come for. Bring down. This is all very gentlemanly and professional.
What’s weird is that Avenatti and Levin are birds of a feather. They’re both Californians. They’re vain. They have BAs in political science and JDs from venerable law schools. And they both regard the U.S. as a 3.797-million-squaremile reality TV set.
And with a reality TV president in place, both Avenatti, in Tom Ford suits, and Levin, in an overdeveloped gym body, have sighted a road to broader relevance: politics. Avenatti has suggested he’ll run for president. Levin has suggested he’ll get Kris Jenner elected president. (No kidding.)
Avenatti styles himself as the president’s arch-foe and a “lawyer for the truth.” He chases every ambulance smudged with Trump’s bronzer.
Levin, meanwhile, runs TMZ, hosts the hard-hitting “Objectified” for Fox News (about celebrities’ possessions) and is keeping his brand relevant by hustling the Kardashians into politics, where the screen time really is these days.
All this crossing of streams — the future of the republic, the rule of law and the Kardashians — is not just morally unsanitary; it might be lethal for the body politic. And center stage are various tacky guys — including former White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci and former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort — in overpriced suits with glittery cufflinks.
In this integrity desert, there’s a real opening for someone with a sense of history, keen intelligence, actual principles and understated dress.
So far, only one Capitol player fits this bill, but he’s not auditioning. Mueller. He wears what GQ called a “sartorial ‘no comment’ ” of gray or blue suits. He’s never commented on Avenatti or Levin — or any of the others — but he allegedly has some thoughts on their style. He once told an FBI colleague, French cuffs were the province of “drug lawyers.”
When this is over, I hope we see cuff reform, on top of everything else.