How to help young actress
Dear Amy: I am a lucky dad to have three great kids: ages 26, 24 and 22. They are dealing with life’s curve balls like all of us do, and they are all doing very well.
Our youngest daughter began competitive dance at 4, started acting and singing at 14 and graduated from college with a degree in musical theater.
Her goal is to be on Broadway. She is so alive on stage. Her energy and enthusiasm are contagious.
Because this field is so competitive, we are trying to keep her focused and positive. She is very talented and outworks everyone. She is also very sensitive. It is hard on her when she doesn’t get hired after an audition.
She has gotten some roles, and not gotten others.
My wife and I totally support her decision to work in this field, but how should we help her deal with her success and failures throughout her career? Supportive Parents
Dear Parents: My own advice to you parents is that you insist that your daughter should work. She should look for temp or restaurant jobs that will accommodate her acting classes and auditions. Working will keep her grounded and busy — and connected to other young actors and artists.
She will need to learn to manage and modulate her reactions to rejection. Every artist faces rejection throughout their career. And you will have to do the tough parenting job of letting go.
For further wisdom, especially for your daughter, I have shared your question with Quinn Cummings, former actress and current author of the wonderful memoir: “Notes From the Underwire: Adventures From My Awkward and Lovely Life,” (2009, Hyperion).
She responds: “The life of the artist is hard. The life of the actor is harder still. You love to paint, you can always paint, whether anyone wants your work. Acting requires an audience.
“The only way to prevail over this kind of life ... is to find ways to create that kind of joy on your own.”
As for rejection, she says: “Bad events can make for great comedy. And for what it’s worth, if you’re creating material for yourself, you are more likely to give yourself great material and look really appealing while creating it. It’s working out pretty well for Rachel Bloom and Lin-Manuel Miranda.”
Dear Amy: Our son and his wife are separating and soon to divorce after 10 years of marriage.
Our daughter-in-law has a child by a previous marriage, and they had another child together. We have a good relationship with his wife, but we are only fairly close to our step-grandchild, because we’ve lived far apart and rarely saw that child.
Christmas is coming, and my husband and I are not sure how to handle presents now and in the future regarding the mother and her child.
What do you think? Unsure Grandparents
Dear Unsure: Future holidays will never be tougher than this one.
This year especially, you should treat all of these family members as you always have — with warmth and kindness. Yes, include a gift for her child (ask your son for ideas about what his stepchild might like to receive).
By next year, both domestic situations might have changed dramatically, and you might want to make a different choice.