He wants to text and drive
My husband insists on being the driver on both long and short car trips.
However, he has a bad habit of texting or otherwise playing on his phone while driving. I’ve told him to stop because I feel it is dangerous, but he feels he is in control and can “do both things at once.”
As the passenger, I’ve offered to search on his phone or reply to an email or text on his behalf, but he doesn’t accept these offers.
Most frequently, he gets annoyed at the suggestion that he put his phone away while driving. Before trips even begin, I’ve offered to drive, especially if the trip is happening during “business hours.” He refuses.
Your insight? Co-Pilot
Dear Co-Pilot: If this driving dynamic continues — with your husband not letting you drive while he drives dangerously — then eventually (as the popular country western song says) Jesus is going to take the wheel, eliminating this problem altogether.
According to statistics released by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (nhtsa.gov), distracted driving accounted for 3,450 deaths in 2016, and 391,000 people were injured in distracted driving accidents that year.
Your husband may not value your life, his life, or others’ lives enough to make a different choice. But you should force the issue by not letting him drive you under these dangerous conditions.
The next time you two are about to take a longer trip, you should urge him — using all of the logical arguments — to either turn over the driving to you or to basically let you co-pilot his phone. If he refuses, you should rent (or borrow) a car, and tell him you’ll meet him at your destination.
Dear Amy: Last week at my favorite daily coffee shop, two college-age girls moved into the booth behind me. I heard all of their loud conversation: The descriptions of their boyfriends’ sexual proclivities and abilities were astounding. Their women friends were also discussed in much detail.
Because I was not finished my meal and the small shop was full, I did not wish to move.
They then started to clip their nails and do their makeup, all the while discussing the boys and their female acquaintances.
I’m an old man, unused to and disturbed by such behavior.
Regardless of receiving a rude reply, should I have said anything to them? Or was I correct in foregoing my coffee treat and departing quickly? Coffee Shop Patron, Ontario
Dear Patron: I’m going to share a sad reality of my job: Sometimes I have to tell people in distress that there is nothing tangible they can realistically do to inspire other people to behave differently.
In your case, you are being exposed to the crassness of everyday life, where people overshare in very loud voices and — unfortunately — clip their nails in cafes, on airplanes and in business meetings (what accounts for this strange trend to groom oneself in public? I think we’d all like that to stop).
You could certainly turn around and ask these women to lower their voices, but they might respond by turning on you. If this is a chance you’re willing to take, doing so might have made you feel better.