Nude portrait arrives late

Dear Amy:

My wife’s cousin is a talented artist. About 51⁄2 years ago I approached her to commission a nude painting of my wife.

I sent her photos and earnest money in the amount of $250. She replied that a modeling session would help. My wife traveled to her city, approximately 500 miles away, for the session. She also visited friends and family, and so she was happy to make the trip.

My next contact with the artist was a few months later, when she advised me that she didn’t know how to proceed and would not be able to complete the commission. I received no money back, which wasn’t a big deal.

Since then, I have retired, we have moved twice, and are excited to basically move into our Airstream full time as we travel the country.

Recently, we hit the road for three months and stopped by the cousin’s studio. On an easel was a halffinished nude portrait of my wife.

The artist asked what we thought. I reminded her that she had advised me that she was abandoning the project five years ago. “Oh, no,” was her reply.

Three weeks later, it was completed, but we have moved on and really don’t want the piece. We don’t have room for it — and it is not her best work.

What is our obligation to accept this commissioned artwork after over five years? We love this cousin but feel like this should have been handled differently. Reluctant Art Collector

Dear Reluctant:

According to you, you seem to have happily invested time and money into this project and were understanding when the artist said she could not complete it. In retrospect, it would have been wise for you to acknowledge this in writing — that way everybody would be on the same page.

You are not obligated to accept and pay for this painting. You should say to her, “I completely understood and accepted it when you said you couldn’t complete this painting. That was several years ago. We have totally moved on and — as you can tell — have no room in our Airstream for this painting. I’m not sure where the misunderstanding happened. We think you’re wonderful, but this ship has sailed.”

Dear Amy:

My first marriage lasted less than a year. My husband was abusive and a drunk, and then after the divorce I met my son’s father and got married.

His father never wanted me to tell our son, and now after 32 years together, we recently divorced. Should I tell my adult son?

I’m worried he will find out. Two Times an Ex

Dear Ex:

Yes, you should tell your son about your first marriage. Somehow, this aspect of your life became the property of someone else (your most recent ex). You permitted him to control a disclosure that belongs to you alone. And over the years, this brief episode somehow grew to assume the dimensions of a major family secret.

Being ashamed and embarrassed about an episode in your life where you essentially triumphed isn’t proportional. I hope you can be proud of your story. Own it.

Tell your son. He may ask you a couple of questions, which you should answer truthfully. This likely means much more to you than to him, but you will feel better if you disclose it.