Friends won’t pick us up

Dear Amy: We are a group of friends in our 40s, who have known each other for decades and consider each other closer than family.

When my partner and I travel to see one of these couples, they don’t offer to pick us up at the airport. They have said they would prefer if we took an Uber to their home, because it is not wise for them to waste two hours in traffic. They don’t expect us to pick them up from the airport, either.

I am a bit traditional. If someone is spending the money to come fly to my city to see me, I should pick up and drop off, or pay for their cab. We have had a candid conversation with our various friends about this, where I stated this, and they stated that their perspective was practical concerning time and responsibilities.

They said that we can all afford to take a cab or carshare. That is true, but they seem to think that during college when we were all scraping by, it was one thing to spend time on airport runs, but now that we can afford airport transportation, we have to choose where we spend our time wisely.

What are your thoughts? Am I not keeping up with the changing times? Curious in New York

Dear Curious: Following is a list of people you are obligated to pick up from the airport: Parents and grandparents; elderly aunts, uncles and elderly or infirm friends; servicemembers, missionaries, or volunteers returning from long overseas assignments; long-distance loves you are eager to impress; kids coming home from band camp.

Here is a list of people you are not obligated to pick up from the airport: Friends from college whom you will be hosting in your home for an extended personal visit.

I agree with others in your group. The hours spent on an airport run would be better spent vacuuming the guest bedroom and preparing a nice meal and a fresh cocktail for weary travelers.

In fact, unless the circumstance is extreme, I would always rather find my own transportation from the airport — because this gives me the flexibility to dawdle if I want to, without the pressure of someone waiting on me at the cellphone lot, or — worse — circling the airport.

Give this one up.

Dear Amy: I have kind of a weird little problem. I own a house with a nice, completely furnished apartment attached to it. Right now, I have a really nice tenant on a six-month lease. She is a single person who is working on writing a book.

“Emily” and I get along well. When I decided to rent out the apartment, I had the wall that separates the two living spaces insulated to cut down on noise distractions.

Emily keeps early hours. Every day it is the same: She is up at 5 or 5:30, and I am jolted awake by the sound of the beeping microwave. Then it is the sound of the water flowing into the bathtub. This goes on every day, seven days a week. Otherwise, she is quiet.

I’d like to speak to her about this, but I don’t know what to say. Can you help? Bothered

Dear Bothered: You own the apartment. You supplied the microwave. Perhaps you can switch out the beeping microwave for one that doesn’t beep and find a way to double-insulate the wall between the bathroom and your home. But no — you don’t get to tell your quiet tenant not to get up so early and/or use the facilities in the home she is paying for.