Job seeker seeks follow-up

Dear Amy: Have the standards of business ethics changed in recent years?

I have gone to several job interviews, with zero followup from the employer or the recruiter who set up the interview.

These are situations where the employer contacted me and asked me to come in for the interview, telling me, “We’ll get back to you.”

I had two interviews recently which went well, I thought, but I never heard from them again.

I wish businesses would realize that when they do this, it leaves people with bad feelings about them, and we tell our friends. A rejection is fine, but a polite message back, such as: “Thank you for spending your time with us, however, we have selected another candidate” would bring closure to the process. Ignored

Dear Ignored: Business ethics have not changed. Hiring practices have changed, however.

One frustration for current job seekers is how communication with recruiters and employers seems to f low in one direction, controlled by the employer. When a (often off-site) recruiter sets up an interview, the only contact information you have is the recruiter’s — not that of the person who is conducting the interview.

Savvy job seekers conclude an in-person or Skype interview by asking, “Could you share your email address with me so I can follow up to thank you?”

A good recruiter will contact you after an interview, even if it is to tell you that you won’t be hired.

Dear Amy: In high school, I had a boyfriend who was addicted to cocaine. He became mentally, physically and sexually abusive.

My best friend at the time knew him, but she knew nothing about what was happening in the relationship.

After leaving the relationship with the boyfriend, I ended up going to a mental hospital.

While I was hospitalized, she and I reconnected. I told her all about this abuse.

Recently, I became aware that she’s been hanging out with him more often in their friend group. She knows everything that he did to me and still chooses to hang out with him.

I don’t want to be around her or even talk to her because I don’t want her telling him anything about me and my current boyfriend or our lives (when I was with him, this monster had me and family members in fear for our safety).

Should I try to talk to her about this? Is it OK to just walk away from her because of this? Upset

Dear Upset: Your duty is to take care of yourself, and you seem to have done an admirable job.

Loyal friends will quite naturally not want to maintain a close friendship with an individual who has abused a friend.

Of course, it is possible that the man who abused you has cleaned up his act and changed in a dramatic way, but you should not risk your own well-being by testing this possibility.

You are wise to keep your distance from the person who abused you as well as anyone else who is connected to him. You don’t need to spend your own valuable emotional bandwidth trying to assess this situation from every angle — you need only to protect yourself.