Where did her money go?

I am a retired professional. My husband is still working. We have no investments and no inheritances but we get by.

I rarely mention money. I love to go to restaurants, shows and concerts, tip well and am generous with what I have.

My friend is the opposite. She does not dine out or go to shows. Both she and her husband retired a few years ago with generous pensions and health insurance.

Her parents died, leaving her a large (by her description) inheritance. For a while, she talked about all the things she was looking forward to spending it on.

She has never done any of those things. Her house is falling apart. She constantly complains about not having “funds.” Her main topic of conversation is coupons. Today we were in a neighbor’s beautiful backyard, and she said she wished she had money for plants.

This is ridiculous. I know her well, and she has no expenses and doesn’t spend a dime. She brags that she and her husband did not help their sons with college.

Can you explain why people act this way? I never respond to her remarks about clipping coupons and not having funds — I just change the subject.

I don’t know what to say to her, and I am reaching the point where I can’t stand it anymore. Any advice? Strained Friendship

Dear Strained: It sounds as if your knowledge of your friend’s financial situation has come, mainly, from her self-reporting. Rather than change the subject, you could ask your friend — once — “I thought you and your husband were doing well financially. What happened?”

This couple could be out of funds because they fell for a scam, invested badly, gave money to their kids, engaged in online gambling, donated their money to an institution — or any number of other reasons. Your friend’s husband might be controlling her by denying her access to their money. Or one or both might have a hoarding disorder, which causes them to hoard their money.

If you know these people very well and their living situation is deteriorating to a dangerous extent, you could consider sharing your concern with their children.

Dear Amy: I consider myself a liberal thinker and have several friends and close family members who identify LGBQ. But I don’t get the bisexual label if one is not sexually active (nor looking to be). In recent years, three acquaintances have “come out” on social media as bisexual. All three are in long-term marriages to people of the opposite sex.

One of them is an ordained minister; another is married to an ordained minister. So the idea of these individuals having free-wheeling sex lives with multiple partners seems remote.

What does it mean for someone to be bisexual and not express that in a physical way? How is it important to announce that if they are not looking for a relationship? What about being bisexual are they “claiming,” if it isn’t about sex? Bi-Curious?

Dear Bi-Curious: Some might be inspired to proclaim their bisexuality out of solidarity to people less safe and secure than they are.

This would be a powerful statement from clergy, especially if they belong to a faith that openly discriminates against LGBTQ people.

Because you are curious about a public proclamation, feel free to ask.