Get kids in on clean game
Dear Amy: My wife and I recently bought a house. We decided on a few rules to keep it as clean as possible.
I invited my sister and her three kids to stay with us for the next two weeks, and while we already explained the house rules several times, the youngest (he’s 3) always manages to create a mess. I don’t blame him, but my wife gets really irritated and takes it out on me.
I offered to clean the mess, if my wife would let me know. But every time this occurs, we have an argument.
I think my wife feels she’s making all the sacrifices for me and my family. When we visit her family, I always try to be open and understanding (they are from another country), and I love it.
Today my wife snapped in front of the kids.
At first, she was so excited about this visit, but today she told me that the next time I have someone over, she will go to visit her family because she doesn’t want to sacrifice anymore.
This is hurtful to me. My family has always been gracious and generous to her. Good Husband
Dear Husband: Threeyear-olds are human tornadoes. I’m assuming you don’t have children (yet), but experienced parents hosting children anticipate a period of upheaval and do their best to keep up, while understanding that where toddlers go, messes happen.
You have asked your wife to “let you know” if there was a mess she felt needed to be cleaned up. But you (and your sister) should take this on without prompting.
At the end of every (long) day, before the kids go to bed, you should lead them around the house for a clean sweep. Set a timer, make a game of it and lead them on a little inspection parade when you’re done.
Encourage your wife to get enough alone time away from the house, if that will help with her stress, but she should also try to be more tolerant. If she truly believed you were stepping up, she might be able to step back.
Dear Amy: My extended family recently had a small get-together in a park. One of my young cousins found out later that day that she might have been exposed to the coronavirus at work.
Her mother, “Shelly,” didn’t inform any of my family members about her daughter. A family member reached out, and her only response was that she was being tested.
She never let us know the results. (They have had time to post pictures of themselves enjoying activities.)
I am angry that they didn’t have the courtesy to tell us what was going on. A simple text with a quick update would have sufficed.
How should we handle this situation? In the Dark
Dear In the Dark: I agree that Shelly or her daughter should keep everyone who attended the gathering informed of her test status. However, due to the incubation period of the COVID virus, testing immediately after a possible exposure might not be accurate.
Ask your doctor if testing is recommended. Monitor your temperature each day. If testing is widely available where you live, you might rest easier if you go through the testing process. Remember — the test detects traces of the virus in your body on the day you are tested. It is not predictive.
Out of an abundance of caution, you should limit your out-of-home activities as much as possible for the next couple of weeks.