Does vegan work for kids?

Dear Amy: My daughter is in her 30s. Her boyfriend has decided to be vegan. She has decided to be vegan too, which is fine. They’re adults and they will do what they believe is best.

My question concerns these dietary restrictions.

At some point they may have children. I would like advice about whether being vegan is good for children in utero and as they develop.

These kids will be in situations when traveling, at social situations or during holidays where they may have to make eating choices that are not compatible with plant-based diets.

I understand the benefits of a plant-based diet and its impact on saving the planet, but I worry about a diet and lifestyle approach that kids must follow because their parents believe in it.

My approach will probably be that if you would like me to feed the kids, let me know in advance so I can figure out how.

I’m curious if there’s research about how plantbased diets influence the development of children. Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned: You really are putting the cart before the carrot (in fact, the cart is in the barn, and the carrot hasn’t even been planted yet). Though you assert these are adults and have the right to feed their own bodies, you don’t seem to believe in their ability to use discernment to make good choices down the road.

(They are dating, no one is pregnant and no one has asked you for your opinion.)

Kathleen Rasmussen, professor of maternal and child nutrition at Cornell University, said: “It is possible to create a vegan diet that is nutritionally adequate for a pregnant woman and a growing child, but it requires thoughtfulness.

“For children, the concerns are having an adequate caloric intake as well as sufficient high-quality protein and key several micronutrients. These can be provided with a careful selection of appropriate foods.

“Children learn to love what their parents eat and, if shown by their parents, how to navigate social situations related to eating.”

I have two young vegan family members. With guidance from their parents, if they are unsure if they can/ should eat something, they just ask!

Following that guideline, if you are unsure about how to feed vegan family members — you can do the same.

Family photos from my childhood were in my sister’s possession when our father died 14 years ago (our mom died previously).

My sister (my only sibling, in her 70s, as I am) had given the albums to her son. I asked him 10 months ago if I could have them for a while, and he said he’d let me know.

He eventually sent scans of my parents’ honeymoon, which are irrelevant to my childhood photo history.

After many emails, he still won’t let me have them, even for a week or two to show my kids, and he stonewalls me on the scans.

Neither he nor my sister think I handled my dad’s death properly. Neither of them like my current wife. And he thinks only he can take care of these old photos.

What to do? I’d like to see these photos before I die. Upset

Dear Upset: You should offer to pay your nephew to scan these photos and send the files to you. Scanning can be time-consuming, and he might respond differently if you express your gratitude for the photos you’ve received, and offer to pay him.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by email to ask amy@amydickinson.com.