She fears husband’s driving

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. We hardly ever f ight, except for when he is driving. I have a fear of riding in a car with him on a busy highway. Whenever we travel together for very long, I am usually such a wreck, I want to cry.

Is it too much to ask that he ease up a little bit? What does it hurt to only go 10 miles over the speed limit, instead of his customary 15 mph over?

All I ask is that he widen the gap a little between us and the car in front of us.

Right now, he is pouting and going 10 miles below the speed limit in the right- hand lane and not speaking to me. Honestly, it’s the f irst time traveling that I feel calm. Am I being unreasonable?

Anxious Wife

Dear Wife: Your husband should appreciate the fact that you value your life, his life and the lives of others.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration notes there are about 1.7 million rear- end collisions on U. S. roadways each year. About 1,7000 people die in those collisions and another 500,000 are hurt.

A very helpful article I read on Edmunds. com ( the car- rating site) breaks down how dangerous tailgating is: “A vehicle traveling at 60 mph covers 88 feet per second. But stopping that vehicle takes over 4.5 seconds and covers a distance of 271 feet. Why? Because there’s more involved in braking than the actual time your brakes are applied to the wheels ( called ‘ effective braking’). In particular, perception time and reaction time add considerable distance to stopping your car.

“When you combine perception and reaction time, a full 132 feet will pass before your car even begins to slow down from 60 mph. So, from the time you perceive a braking situation until the time your car comes to a complete stop, a total of 4.6 seconds elapses. During that time your car travels almost the length of a football f ield. Of course, the faster you go, the more time and distance it takes to stop.”

Wet or icy road conditions will add exponentially to the risk of tailgating.

In addition to the danger to you, tailgating is annoying and unnerving to the vehicle in front of you.

I hope your question will inspire readers to reconsider their driving. Drivers, please leave at least three seconds between your car and the vehicle in front of you.

Dear Amy: I have two sisters. My sister “April” is 60 years old. She chooses not to work ( her husband works).

They recently asked my 87- year- old mother for money to send their son to graduate school ( the son does not have a job either).

My other sister and I told April “no.” I ( we) feel that it is not appropriate for our sister to ask my 87- year- old mother to hand her money. What do you think?

Upset

Dear Upset: In essence, I agree with you. But I need to remind you that anyone can ask anyone for anything. However, your mother can ( and perhaps should) say a firm “no.”

The key for all of you is to make sure your mother is of sound mind and is f inancially in good shape, and that your sister and her family are not manipulating or pressuring her.

Graduate school can be expensive. If giving this money would put your mother in a precarious f inancial position, you should do everything possible to protect her — and her assets.