Mom’s ‘sharing’ must stop

Dear Amy: My mom frequently “shares” things via social media that she has no right to share.

She’ll take a picture that we have posted on Facebook or Instagram and post it herself (almost as if she was the one who took it), often relaying the story of the picture as if it’s her own — basically stealing it and reposting it herself.

Recently, she posted on Facebook about my and my fiancé’s wedding date, stating, “So excited for a wedding month wedding!” and tagging us. This was before we had even announced it. I told her to take it down and explained about what a violation it was.

She eventually said she understood where we were coming from and took down the post, but within the same day posted a funny story about our (meaning mine and my fiancé’s) dog that I had told her.

Neither of us had shared that on social media ourselves. It was via phone conversation. We live across the country. I know the easy answer is to not post what we don’t want shared, but she’ll post things we tell her via phone too.

It’s hard for her to be an empty nester. But I want her to understand that the only way we’ll tell her about things is if she can respect that we don’t want it shared with the world.

If I don’t talk to her or tell her about our lives, she lays on a huge guilt trip about how she “doesn’t even know us anymore.”

Too Much Sharing

Dear Too Much: You seem to have explained the implicit privacy contract that family members should adhere to on social media. I wonder if your mother understands how posts and photos can be shared with people completely outside your (and her) circle.

This is especially a violation when it comes to weddings, pregnancies, job changes and the like, because her choice to post about these things before you are ready could harm (or ruin) other relationships.

She does not have the right to “take” your personal story and broadcast it widely.

You should tell her that if she continues to do this, you will feel forced to disengage from her completely on social media. Say that you consider this both a last resort and a natural consequence of her (extreme) violation of your privacy.

Otherwise, check your

FB privacy settings to see how you can “review” any posts you’re tagged in. You can also control who sees posts where you’re tagged.

Dear Amy: I’m concerned about misinformation in your response to “Mum About Medical,” who didn’t like to answer questions regarding her COVID-19 vaccination status.

You wrote: “Mainly, the vaccination protects you from the more serious illness caused by the coronavirus. But the vaccination also helps to protect others, because if you don’t contract COVID-19, you won’t be spreading it.”

That is incorrect. Vaccinated people can be asymptomatic carriers.

Concerned Reader

Dear Concerned: Thank you. You are correct about this possibility. According to the CDC, clinical trials have not established the extent of protection (if any) vaccines offer regarding asymptomatic transmission to others.

That is why even vaccinated people should continue to wear masks.