Let hubby enjoy his wine

Dear Amy: I am married to a wonderful, kind and generous man.

We have a very good marriage. We’ve never had a real argument or nagged each other about anything.

I am worried about his weight, however. He had lost a lot of weight but now he’s regaining it.

This is because he has a glass of wine just before bed.

I don’t mind the wine, but I wish he’d have it at dinnertime so that his body has time to process it.

I know he enjoys his bedtime snack so I’m loath to bring it up. How do I gently ask him to forgo it without sounding like a nag?

Worried

Dear Worried: If your husband’s nightly glass of wine makes him surly or uncommunicative, or interferes with his sleep, your shared intimacy or sex life, then you get to bring it up.

In short, if his night-wine affects YOU, then you should initiate a conversation about it.

If his wine at bedtime doesn’t directly affect you (it doesn’t seem to), keep your thoughts to yourself.

Your basic assumption is off-kilter. More likely, his weight gain is the result of a dozen choices he makes throughout the day, not the timing of his nightly drink.

And if he has struggled with his weight and has managed to successfully reduce, then he knows the basic rules of weight loss.

You should ask him, “What’s the best way I can support you as you work toward your goals?”

I hope he answers, “Just continue loving me, as I am.”

I’ll offer an opinion on how to have a happy marriage: Learn to fight. Learn to forgive. And try mightily to love one another through thick and thicker.

Dear Amy: My mom and I generally have a good relationship, but she does one really inconsiderate thing.

I am a light sleeper. I normally wake up around 9 a.m.

My mom is a very active person and insists on exercising every morning before she goes to work.

Because gyms have closed, she runs on our home treadmill in the mornings. However, the room with the treadmill she runs on is right beneath my bedroom, so her running wakes me up.

I pointed out that she can run outside or on the treadmill at other times but she insists on her routine.

I asked my dad to talk to her, but he is afraid that she will explode with anger.

I’ve tried to make compromises by asking her to run only after 8 a.m., but she will not budge.

I am a college student. I need adequate rest in order to do well in school. With her disrupting my sleep, I am often tired and unable to focus on my studies. I feel it is common decency for people to respect others’ sleep.

How can I form an agreement with my mom without me sacrificing my sleep?

Sleepless

Dear Sleepless: Asking your mother to run at a later time in the morning is not a “compromise” — it is merely you asking her to change. A compromise would be you agreeing to go to bed an hour earlier if she would agree to run an hour later.

Your mother is trying to take care of herself.

You are responsible for your own health and well-being, so the most obvious solution would be for you to adjust your sleeping hours.

If you went to bed earlier and started the day feeling rested, you might find those early-morning hours were among the best of your day.