Food shortage fears linger

Dear Amy: My life is in a good place. My kids are out of the house, and I retired early. Before COVID-19 hit, I went to Broadway shows and movies, out to eat with friends, and traveled alone.

Obviously, the pandemic threw a wrench into things. I have tried to reframe my life during a time when I’ve been scared to go out, despite being vaxxed and boosted.

Early on in the pandemic, it was hard to get certain foods. I’ve found that even after things settled down, I was still overstocking.

I have two full fridges, two freezers, and find myself ordering food for various relatives and having it shipped to them. I don’t overconsume food, but I can’t stop buying it.

I canceled my Costco membership and limit trips to the store, but I still find myself at midnight shopping at online food sources.

I’ve tried everything to stop, yet I keep buying food.

Events like the Ukraine invasion seem to trigger me buying more food.

I know this is a control issue, but I can’t shake the fear of running out of food. Can you help?

Worried

Dear Worried: You are describing a hoarding disorder. This can be brought on by trauma and triggered by stress.

People who have survived extreme food shortages will sometimes emerge from the experience with the impulse to hoard food. Your early experiences of the pandemic (experiencing some shortages and fearing that there would be more) has triggered this in you.

Hoarding disorders are linked to anxiety and can be treated with a combination of medication and behavior therapy, which focuses on recognizing the triggers, the feelings, and the behavior you seek to change.

Many people are experiencing mental health challenges because of the pandemic, and I give you credit for recognizing that your behavior presents an extreme problem for you. I urge you to take the next brave step to seek professional help.

There are many ways to find a therapist. I like the psychologytoday.com database. You can search by location and specialty and read profiles of therapists.

Dear Amy: I went to a birthday party in my expatriate community in a small Latin American town and saw folks I hadn’t seen in a long time (due to COVID).

As usual in social gatherings, I ask people about things I know about them: How are your elderly parents? How is your partner doing post-surgery? How are your kids doing?

I like these people a lot and have missed their company. I was happy to see them. But not one of these people inquired about me!

I am a good listener, but it would be nice if someone expressed an interest in me.

I am not the kind of person who readily turns the conversation to myself, yet it would be nice if someone actually asked. I see precious little of that anymore.

Have people lost their social skill or is it that they just want a friendly ear? I have good social skills and I do care, but the longer I am on the listening end of a monologue, the more cynical I become. I welcome more authentic engagement, but maybe it’s just not possible?

Unheard Expat

Dear Expat: I don’t think this is a recent phenomenon, but surely the pandemic has made it more pronounced.

I’ll explore this in future columns.