Banned by anti-vaxxers?

Dear Amy: I’m a widower, and my significant other, “Siena,” is a widow.

Last year I brought Siena to my daughter’s big annual family get-together. We had a great time. We felt welcome (we thought); but this year, it all changed.

I received a text from my daughter inviting me, but not Siena, to the party.

I texted back, “What about Siena?”

She replied that some of her husband’s family members were uncomfortable with Siena’s attendance.

Here’s the “kicker”: Siena had polio long ago (as a child), paralyzing both of her legs, and she uses longleg braces and aluminum forearm crutches to walk.

I was told that “some” of last year’s attendees were “worried” she’d trip over the young children scurrying about, but we believe that wasn’t the real reason.

Last year, somebody asked Siena if she’d been vaccinated against polio as a child. She replied that her mother would not allow her to get the vaccine: “Even way back then, some people were crazy anti-vaxxers.”

Evidently, there are some (or at least one) antivaxxers in my son-in-law’s family. Siena’s comment must have offended them.

Or perhaps they just don’t like being around people with disabilities.

We’re just fine not attending the party, but do you think I should have a discussion with my daughter about Siena’s “banishment,” or should I let it slide?

Siena is convinced that we (I) should just let it go.

Undecided

Dear Undecided: You could ask your daughter for further clarity regarding Siena’s banishment.

She might not admit that one or more of her husband’s relatives are in the “crazy anti-vaxxers” category, but I think it would be helpful to try to discern how open your daughter is to having a relationship with your partner.

You and Siena are together, so she is coming into your daughter’s family. The same dynamic that has you wanting to keep the peace with your in-laws extends to your daughter, who should be kind to your partner.

Listen to your daughter, and — assuming she won’t supply a satisfying response — you and Siena should stay home together on this day and let it go.

Dear Amy: My girlfriend and I are in our late 20s. Recently my grandfather died, and I inherited $500,000!

This came as a complete surprise. Of course, in addition to missing my grandfather and being grateful for his generosity, we’re thrilled at this unexpected gift.

My girlfriend is eager to retire early. She sees this as life-changing. We are talking about the best way to spend it.

We agreed to bring this dilemma to you. Blessed

Dear Blessed: I appreciate your trust in me; you should trust a qualified financial adviser even more.

My reaction is: This is not your girlfriend’s money to dream about. It is yours.

One way this windfall may be “life-changing” is for you to take a good look at your girlfriend’s reaction.

You should not be thinking about how to spend this money but how to invest or save it.

This is a huge amount of money, and yet it is not even close to the amount someone your age would need to retire. (However, it could get you comfortably into your first home, which might be a good investment for you.)