Greetings,

What separates a producer from a starlet? His trousers. Hello, Hollywood! She’s a siren, she’s a tramp, she knows what she wants, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Cue the sun-kissed days, the palm trees, the ocean and canyons, the beau monde (with a little help from a friend), the razzle dazzle, the sheer entertainment of it all and before you know it, you too will be under her spell. LA’s considerable charms spread far and wide, so get ready to drive, drive and drive some more. Start your engines...

Overview

Hollywood is an A-list sip, sup and play magnet with lots of tourists; it shares the Sunset party strip with West Hollywood (WeHo); west again is glitzy, ritzy Beverly Hills; and southwest are beachy Santa Monica and Venice. The Hills are north, flats south, and hipster Silver Lake, Los Feliz and the emerging Downtown lie east. Action!

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There’s really no bad time to visit; spring-summer are lovely although Aug-Sep roast, and Jan-Feb can be rainy While it’s balmy year round, have a crochet knit to throw over your bikini mornings/evenings Nov-Mar LAX to Hollywood: approx 1hr / $60 by cab Rent a car – what you drive matters in LA, and forget walking, unless you’re looking for a new PROfession Rent a car with GPS, you’ll be lost without it and no one knows how to give directions (or stops for you) Parking – it’s valet, or the highway. All hotels, many restos, bars, clubs and some shops and spas force you to use it. No valet? Park on the street and have coins for the meters (or use credit card), but check the signs Peak hour traffic may seem to last all day, but is worst from 6-10am and 3-7.30pm Mon-Sat Denim rules, and is considered dressing up for many Unless you’re invited to the Oscars (Feb-Mar), don’t come at all, every hotel room and restaurant will be booked, and people will pay even less attention to you No smoking pretty much anywhere indoors The concierge is your best friend, get to know them If you can’t get a table res, try your luck at the bar For the rich n’ hip, being seen to be green is critical. They won’t, however, be caught dead on public transport Tipping is mandatory, though it doesn’t guarantee better service. In restos, as a minimum, double the tax Bars and clubs close at 2am, like, boring... Keep ID handy when hitting bars and clubs Int’l calling code is +1, and dial the prefix for local calls: Hollywood is 323, WeHo to the beaches is 310... In emergencies, don’t scream and holler, dial 911

A few phrases that you may hear...

Our marriage is as solid as a rock : I started sleeping around after 6 months; she’s got a drinking problem

I’m a freelance professional slasher : I’m a blogger slash model / DJ / writer / actor / snapper / I’m out of work

Alrighty, get ready to be, like, so LA...