Letters should go to the archive, not the shredder
DEARAMY » My mother is 90 years old and is now considering shredding letters from our dad that he wrote to her before they were married. Dadwas in the Navy.
My sisters and I would like to keep them when she is gone.
She reread all 174 letters recently and said there was nothing racy in them, so why not keep them for us?
What is your opinion on this?
— Upset Daughter
DEARDAUGHTER » My opinion is that these letters — and any letters from anyone of this era — would be wonderful to have and to read.
Because of her own perspective, your mother might not quite grasp that even quotidian accounts of life from 70 years ago would be of interest to people today.
Naturally, you and your sisters would be interested in accounts of your own early lives and the comings and goings of longgone relatives, but it would also be cool to read about something as ordinary as, “I’ve been thinking about getting one of those Philco television sets,” or, “I can’t believe gasoline costs 30 cents a gallon!”
Accounts of people serving in the military add another dimension to the importance of these letters.
Researching your question, I read a story in Smithsonian Magazine about a remarkable man named Andrew Carroll and his heroic effort to found the “Million Letters Campaign,” with the goal to collect one million letters from military members for the Center for AmericanWar Letters at Chapman University (search for the center at chapman.edu).
Helped along through advocacy from my esteemed and legendary fellow advicegiver “Dear Abby,” this center has collected thousands of first-person military accounts of war and peacetime. Each letter is read and archived by staff members.
Perhaps in celebration of Veterans Day this year, people will be inspired to open that suitcase, shoebox, or plastic bin — and read, re-read, scan, and donate these important slices of history.
I hope your mother will respond to your desire to share this history with her.
DEARAMY » “FrequentFlier” wroteavery self-servingaccount of what it feels like to be an adult child living at home with parents. Flier compared the experience of living at home to being roommates with parents. Thank you for pointing out that if you don’t pay rent, you are not a roommate.
I take issuewith your characterization of families who have adult children living at home, however. I don’t knowwho you know, but everyone I know in this situation charges their kids rent.
— Disappointed
DEARDISAPPOINTED » The pandemic caused many young adults to suddenly flock back home (I’ve had two living at home for several months). Because of unemployment, dislocation, and financial instability, charging (and paying) rent is not always possible. I do agree that this arrangement works best when both parties state — andmeet — reasonable expectations.