Old friend too curious about birth mystery

DEAR AMY » In the years following college, I had a close group of friends. As the years passed and our lives moved in different directions, our contact with each other gradually lessened, but we'd still keep in touch via Facebook, email, text, and the occasional dinner get-together.

One of the girls in this group, “Sheila,” moved to a different country several years ago.

She was single and “looking.”

In my communications with her afterward I tried not to pry about her dating life since I realize that not everyone likes being asked about that.

Fast-forward to a few months ago. Another friend from that group who was staying in that country thought she saw Sheila post in a Facebook group (in that country's language), asking for things for a four-monthold baby.

My friend asked me if I knew of anything about Sheila having a baby (I didn't).

My curiosity got the best of me, and I asked another one of our friends who had been keeping in closer touch with Sheila if she knew anything about this.

She apparently didn't want to tell me anything about the situation herself and suggested that I ask Sheila directly.

I felt awkward bringing this up out of the blue with Sheila, but that's what I did.

She replied that things have been really busy with her and she'd like to catch up soon.

I didn't hear from her for a few more months, and then just yesterday she messaged and said that she had a baby a couple weeks ago and that mother and baby are doing well.

I replied with a congratulatory message and that for some reason I thought she had already had a baby before.

She is being very evasive about all this baby news. I'm guessing because this did not happen in a traditional way (she has made no mention of a significant other).

Do I just need to wait this out to find out more details about this huge milestone in her life?

DEAR CURIOUS » Your friend “Sheila's” choice to move to another country is starting to make sense!

I jest, of course. Yes, it is understandable that her baby news is of interest to her old friends.

The most respectful way to respond is to react to her news exactly the way she has presented it, not to gossip or speculate about her to others in your circle, and to express your genuine happiness that she and her baby are doing well.

Her previous plea for baby things might have been on behalf of someone else, or it might have been for her first child — and this baby is her second.

You'll have to be patient and allow her to disclose details about her own life in her own way and on her own timetable.