Future family visit is rapid-tested

DEAR AMY >> My mom has invited me, my husband, and our two teenagers to her home for a special occasion dinner.

Our household, and my mom, have all been vaccinated and boosted for COVID.

My brother, who does not live with our mom and has no underlying conditions, is also vaccinated and boosted, but wants us to take a rapid test before arriving (according to our mom).

I am disappointed that my brother has put our mom in the middle of this.

I have notified our mother that we will not take a rapid test, which we feel is totally unnecessary at this point in the pandemic. If this is a problem, we will stay home.

My husband agrees with me.

Is my brother being unreasonable?

— Upset

DEAR UPSET >> No, you are. Vaccinated people get and spread COVID to other vaccinated people. And a person can have the virus in early stages and not be aware of it, something a rapid test would reveal.

As an elder, your mother might suffer worse symptoms than you would if she got the virus.

I recently attended a multi-day event and took a rapid test each day, before attending any events with groups of people not in my own household.

During this period, I will also take a test and wear a mask outside the home if I have cold symptoms; this is to try to protect other people not in one's circle.

It is relatively easy to take an at-home test, and at this point in the pandemic — where a variant seems to be emerging — why refuse to do it?

You care enough to vaccinate, but this is the molehill you refuse to climb?

Your mother might be relaying this message from your brother, but he is not the only person putting her in the middle of this — you are, too.

If you have a problem with his request, perhaps you should take it up directly with him. Once he explained his reasoning, it might make more sense to you, and then you might be willing to do a very simple thing é if only for another person's peace of mind.

DEAR AMY >> “Sad” wrote to you about her friend who had an elderly failing pet, but is unable to let go.

Years ago, I saw on a TV show something that has stuck with me.

If your pet is suffering, please remember that saying goodbye and releasing him/her from pain is the ultimate act of love.

— Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE >> This end-of-life responsibility is the highest and most challenging calling for humans who love their pets.