Yuba City church hosting panel discussion on gender politics and sexual assault

As a father of a daughter, Pastor Garrett Andrew hopes men in the community can reflect and better themselves for the sake of women.

“We recognize the damage we’ve done and it’s time to say, ‘let’s be better than what we were born into,’” Andrew said. “I don’t need to defend myself, I need to be better.”

The church he leads, St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Yuba City, is hosting a panel discussion on gender politics and sexual assault tonight.

He said the idea came from a church committee deciding to have a conversation about big events going on in the country, following the #Metoo movement. He said he hopes the panel will be an opportunity for discussion and listening, and not discourse.

“It’s about having a conversation that’s difficult to have; difficult in times where it’s contentious and people always want to be right,” he said. “We want to try to do it in a way that’s productive and helpful and not divisive.”

The panel will feature three community leaders: Dr. Lisa Metcalf, a Yuba City psychotherapist specializing in sexual abuse expertise; Mayor Preet

WHAT: WHERE: WHEN:

Didbal, who has shared her own story of being sexually assaulted; and Marsha Krausetaylor, executive director of Casa de Esperanza. It starts at 6 p.m. at St. Andrew on Franklin Road. The speakers will address community resources, questions from children that parents can answer, ways to speak to children, and how people of faith can respond.

According to an event press release, one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually assaulted by age 18.

Andrew said a panel like this gives him hope for the future of the community and his own daughter.

“I want her to be free to be who she is and feel safe to be who she is. I lament that as a father, I don’t feel she’s safe,” he said. “I hope that people are willing to experience it as an opportunity for our community to become a better place, especially for our young women, and don’t look at it as a time where anybody is attacked.”

It was an intense experience for the newlyweds, married in September. But now they’re adjusting to their new life with Ivy, who still needs a watchful eye: she has a digestive sensitivity and can only drink a hypoallergenic formula; and mom and dad have to watch out for choking, her heart rate and oxygen levels.

Laura Williams, a neonatal intensive care unit nurse who helped care for Ivy at Sutter Health, said for new parents, the machinery, equipment and noises can be overwhelming. She talked about pre-mature births.

“The whole pregnancy ideal is rocked, so they have to find the new normal,” Williams said. “They’re really trying to figure it out on their own while they’re trying to see this baby that’s supposed to be inside of them.”

The first couple of weeks of her care, Ivy was touch-and-go, Williams said, and many were surprised to see her pull through the many obstacles she faced. Williams has been a nurse for eight years and at Sutter Health for seven years. She said nurses can feel the stress and tension but try to focus on the baby and educating the parents.

“I feel like they had handled it the best, honestly, I have seen,” she said. “Their hope and perseverance and positive attitude and wanting to learn everything really not just helped Ivy out, it really helped them. They are, by far, one of the most prepared parents now to go home with a baby like Ivy.”

Now that she’s gained a few pounds and is getting stronger with each day, mom and dad are appreciative of being able to lay with her and feed her.

“Little things like that you don’t realize how much you take for granted,” Jake Edwards said.

He remembers seeing the C-section operation from the reflection of the surgeons’ masks and how quickly everything happened. But the traumatic few months and help from the “amazing” nurses, he said, helped strengthen the couple’s relationship.

“We’ve really learned that family matters most and being there for each other and Ivy is what matters most,” Jake Edwards said. “I’m glad that foundation is built so we can go on with our lives now.”

And though he will be the one teaching and guiding Ivy through life, he said his baby daughter is the one who has been an inspiration to him.

“It’s just the greatest thing seeing how strong my daughter has been since day one,” he said. “If she can conquer death, she can conquer life, too.”